Well, today (Saturday 7th June) has been nothing more than a miserable wet boring day, a bit like a sunday really.
So, to relieve the tedium and try to resist the urge to blow my brains out, I decided to watch a couple of DVDs I bought the other day from Poundland.
Yes, yes I know, Poundland isn't the most respected place in the world, but on the odd occasion, amongst the cheapo plastic bits of tat and low quality clothing imported from far eastern sweatshops they do occasionally have something half decent, which more often than not ends up being either some sort of food item, or something which was previously expensive but somehow ended up being bought in bulk during a liquidation sale or something.
Todays purchases are, as per the title of this scribbling, 2 DVD films entitled "Manborg" and "Shopping".
Manborg (2011 - Astron-6 Films)
A little reading up on this film shows that production began in 2009 and completed in 2010, finally being released after nearly 2 years worth of post production. Astron-6 is a low, low, low budget film studio that specialises in sci-fi/comedy/horror type films, all starring people you have never heard of, sort of like Asylum films, except with a much lower budget.
Speaking of budgets, this film was made with a budget of approximately $1000 Canadian dollars (thats roughly £550) , but, we cant hold that against them.
What attracted me to this film was its tagline, which is prominently displayed on the box in big letters "NAZI DEMON UPRISING" ........ "hmmm", thought I, "now if thats not worth a quid, I dunno what is".
I wasnt disappointed either.
From the minute you press "play", you are treated to about 90 minutes of pure, unadulterated silliness, with nazi demon creatures fighting stereotyped human heroes in a bizarre futuristic landscape (all of which is achieved via an excessive but somehow strangely satisfying use of green screen filming techniques). The storyline, or at least what there is of it, is fairly coherent and does just enough so you know whats going on, but doesn't bog your viewing experience down with to much boring exposition, after all, at heart, this film is an action movie.
There's a lot of humour in there, although said humour has its tongue firmly planted in its cheek and relies mainly on one liners, visual gags and comic book esque situation comedy pieces which will leave you with a slight grin at the least and/or a groan followed by a *face/palm* at the most, but trust me, you'll enjoy doing it.
Action scenes take place within a bizarre hybrid world of 80s-esque action movie sequences and anime inspired martial arts fighting as the heroes machine gun, karate chop, stab and flying kick their way through hordes of stop motion created monsters, culminating in a final "Mortal Kombat" esque battle to the death with the main bad guy of the film, "Count Draculon".
Seriously, this film is well worth the quid, trust me, its a nice bit of sci-fi cheese that although its visuals aren't as slick as Hollywood, or even Bollywood, efforts (it pretty much watches like every homebrew fan film you've seen on youtube) but it more than makes up for it with its heart and its ability to effectively make a film in 1980s Hollywood action film style without being too pretentious or just downright bad.
8/10
Shopping (1994 - Film 4 international)
Remember back in the mid to late 90s when the British film industry finally started making films that werent shite for the first time in nearly 20 years?, classics such as "Trainspotting", "Shallow Grave" et al?, well "Shopping" was one of the early ones that no one really remembers.
Starring Jude Law in his first major starring role, along with his future wife Sadie Frost, "Shopping" is one of those films which lets the audience know that being a theiving toerag is glamourous and awesome.
At the time the film was made, the British film industry couldn't make a film without making some mention of criminal activities, Shopping is no different, as it focuses on a group of teenagers who enjoy nothing better than stealing cars, driving them around at high speed before ramming them into shops and stealing anything their little mitts can grab before the rozzers turn up and give them a stern talking to with their bushy moustaches.
For its time, its subject matter was quite relevant, on the one hand, the rise in youth crime was becoming concerning, and the phenomena of "ram raiding" was a particular favourite way for ne'er do wells to get their hands on phat lewt without having to make too much of an effort (today, ram raiding is almost unheard of, due to the fact that most shop keepers and insurance companies found that simply by installing roller shutters and concrete bollards in front of shop doorways and windows, it would prevent scrotes from ramming them down)
So, right at the beginning the film lets you know it fits into the "gritty urban drama" catagory by having the opening credits show you a series of helicopter shots of various industiral factories and such pumping out flames and smoke and so on, all to the background score of some early 90s dance music, we then get introduced to the main character, Billy (Jude Law) who is being released from prison after a 3 month stint for car theft by the local chief inspector (Jonathan Pryce), he thumbs his nose at the establishment by saying the only thing he has learned in prison is not to get caught.
He quickly falls back in to his old habits and goes back to thieving cars so he can drive around various decaying locations in urban London (albeit they tried to disguise said locations to make them appear "generic") whilst spouting 90s youth related expletives such as "booyaka" and so on.
Billys friends are all stereotypes of what film directors though the "disaffected youth" of the 90s were, whom he meets up with in a smoky backstreet to the sound of thumping drum and bass while some other characters spout car engine characteristics the script required them to memorise so you can understand that all these kids care about is living fast and dying young etc etc etc.
Billy and his mates, sorry, "m8s", soon run afoul of the local 10 bob gangsta (a very young looking Sean Pertwee) who is trying to break into the big time by doing jobs for a much more organised and slick mobster (Sean Bean) culminating in Billy planning a big heist by knocking over a massive swanky shopping centre, however this scheme goes awry when it turns out that Billy and his mates have been dobbed in to the police, and find a load of rozzers waiting for them when they try and break in to get their lewt.
Throughout the film, Billy is somewhat childishly obsessed with making a name for himself amongst the ghetto kids by doing feats of daring do and pissing off the local police, even though at numerous points he is offered the opportunity to leave all of it behind and move on, he chooses not to, and the film ends with him and his girly companion laid in the wreck of a car after he tried to prove how much more badass he was than the police.
The character of Billy is somewhat believable, given the context of the film and the time when it was made, but Jude Law manages to make the character proper out of place due to the fact that the urban hero that is Billy speaks in BBC english while everyone around him speaks in ghetto innit.
While this is still a good film, it is chock full of proper dodgy cliches, over exaggerations and stunted awkward dialogue that was very obviously written by someone who had very little clue about "da yoof" were up to in those days, much less any idea about how "gangstas" work.
still, not that bad, but not that good either.
6/10
Saturday, 7 June 2014
Tuesday, 27 May 2014
Sci-Fi Triple threat! - Oblivion, After Earth & Enders Game
Seeing as how I feel like shit today I decided to break with tradition and watch some modern, mainstream fillums.
Yeah I know, but I'm on some strong medication at the minute so it impairs my ability to think rationally.
So the first offering from Hollywoods organ is:-
Oblivion - (2013)
Hmm, this one is based on a "hugely popular graphic novel" (that I've never heard of) and stars Tom Cruise (bad sign right there), Morgan Freeman (hes roughing it), Olga Kurylenko and some other people, none of whom I have ever heard of.
Plot then..erm, well, first off the film lambasts us for causing a shitload of environmental damage but then says that at some point post the year 2017 we get attacked by ALEONZ!111!!11, whom we promptly beat by nuking the fuck out of our own planet, thus requiring the survivors to up sticks and move to Titan (umm, why not mars?, no seriously, it is the best prospect for human colonisation and its much bigger and closer than fucking Titan...*face/palm*).
So yadda yadda yadda, Tom Cruise does some hero shit and saves the day...if you wanna know the full plot go watch it....however, I do have the following criticisms, which are spoilers:-
#1 - Cliche-o-rama.
If you can think of a cliche, this film has it.
There's the obligatory implied sex scenes (in order to give the audience some level of titillation while at the same time making sure that it is suitable for teen aged audiences), theres an aerial chase scene in which the aircraft is flown into and chased along a canyon, escaping by flying through an impossibly narrow crack, there's a machine gun battle, there are drawn out "kung fu esque" fist fights, and at one point, Mr Cruise gets to ride a motorbike (like he does in nearly every film he is in)
#2 - "you will find this woman attractive".
Hollywood likes to tell the male audience who they should have sexual fantasies over, and in which order of preference they should play with themselves over the pieces of meat that are paraded on screen.
In this case, we are initially told to find Andrea Riseborough attractive, because for some reason she seems to spend most of the film being stereotypically British, as well as having seemingly permanently dialated pupils (a sign of female sexual arousal). She also spends a lot of time wearing just enough so that you cant see any skin, but not so much as you don't get a hint of tit from time to time (although you get full on arse when she decides to go for random swim, however thanks to the miracle of airbrushing, there's no boob or pubic region on show - sowwee boys, but this is a 12a cert film).
All of this careful teasing though goes straight out the window once Olga character makes her appearance, in which case she becomes the main lust interest of the piece but operates under the same rules, no skin, "funny" accent and oddly enough but something I'm noticing a lot in modern films, "women go barefoot during emotional scenes"...yeah, keep a look out for it, every time an emotional scene/romantic scene is played out in this movie, the women are always barefoot, but during scenes where they are supposed to be relaxing or conducting business type dialogue, they suddenly remember to wear their stiletto heels. Hollywood has a foot fetish.
#3 - Heroic bloodshed.
The films two heroes gets to die a glorious death to save the human race, but one of them manages to come back (hint: its not the black guy)...yeah I know this should really be a cliche but seriously, its a cop out ending.
So all in all, I Give Oblivion a 7 out of 10, because although its a cliche ridden piece of cheese, its still somewhat entertaining and the visual effects are quite pretty to look at. Id have given it an 8/10, but the wooden acting and cliche shit put me off.
After Earth - 2013
So, this one is based on an idea by Will Smith himself, so he did what he usually does and casts himself and his son in the two lead roles.
I'm not gonna bother going into the plot for this one because simply put, there isn't anything really worth mentioning.
Suffice to say,t his entire film is a simple "why does my daddy not love me" story which didn't need to have the sci-fi element tacked on to it (the story could easilly have been told in modern times with father and son being out on a camping trip together or something), being as that the only real major plot element hinges on "Kitai" (Smith jr) getting his daddys (Smith sr) respect by overcoming his fear and killing a bear-monster in order to save his injured dad.
An awful piece of pseudo sci-fi trash which is obviously influenced in some manner by scientology, and goes on way, way too long to be interesting in any way, shape or form.
3/10 - simply for some impressive special effects.
Enders Game - 2013
Based on the popular sci-fi/moralising series of novels by Orson Scott Card, the film stars Harrison Ford, Ben Kingsley and some kids who ive never heard of.
Essentially a "Harry Potter in space" type affair, Enders game tells the story of a young outcast who manages to get ahead in life simply by being smarter than just about everyone around him, although that said, his childlike naivete doesnt allow him to see when he is being manipulated.
I quite enjoyed this film, out of the three I watched tonight, it was my favourite. Although some of the scenes in the film watch like bad passages from any number of "weird school" type books (which in essence is the archetype that Enders game falls into, hence why I said "Harry Potter in space"), and the film tones down the level of violence and aggression found in the original book somewhat, the main storyline manages to survive on to film more or less intact.
Harrison Ford makes a good performance as the ruthless and pragmatic colonel Graff, and even Asa Butterfield manages to play "Ender" Wiggins very well, alternating between his naive childlike state to his ruthless and sometimes sadistic state without making it seem false or forced.
The story itself is an interesting one, which essentially boils down to a tale of a young man striving for acceptance and eventually learning to firstly accept the consequences of his actions, and secondly to take an active role in controlling his own life and destiny, rather than simply tagging along for the ride as many of his contemporaries do.
The film also takes on the subject of bullying in a fairly positive way, commending careful consideration of options before taking matters into your own hands.
Yeah, I liked this film - 9/10
Yeah I know, but I'm on some strong medication at the minute so it impairs my ability to think rationally.
So the first offering from Hollywoods organ is:-
Oblivion - (2013)
Hmm, this one is based on a "hugely popular graphic novel" (that I've never heard of) and stars Tom Cruise (bad sign right there), Morgan Freeman (hes roughing it), Olga Kurylenko and some other people, none of whom I have ever heard of.
Plot then..erm, well, first off the film lambasts us for causing a shitload of environmental damage but then says that at some point post the year 2017 we get attacked by ALEONZ!111!!11, whom we promptly beat by nuking the fuck out of our own planet, thus requiring the survivors to up sticks and move to Titan (umm, why not mars?, no seriously, it is the best prospect for human colonisation and its much bigger and closer than fucking Titan...*face/palm*).
So yadda yadda yadda, Tom Cruise does some hero shit and saves the day...if you wanna know the full plot go watch it....however, I do have the following criticisms, which are spoilers:-
#1 - Cliche-o-rama.
If you can think of a cliche, this film has it.
There's the obligatory implied sex scenes (in order to give the audience some level of titillation while at the same time making sure that it is suitable for teen aged audiences), theres an aerial chase scene in which the aircraft is flown into and chased along a canyon, escaping by flying through an impossibly narrow crack, there's a machine gun battle, there are drawn out "kung fu esque" fist fights, and at one point, Mr Cruise gets to ride a motorbike (like he does in nearly every film he is in)
#2 - "you will find this woman attractive".
Hollywood likes to tell the male audience who they should have sexual fantasies over, and in which order of preference they should play with themselves over the pieces of meat that are paraded on screen.
In this case, we are initially told to find Andrea Riseborough attractive, because for some reason she seems to spend most of the film being stereotypically British, as well as having seemingly permanently dialated pupils (a sign of female sexual arousal). She also spends a lot of time wearing just enough so that you cant see any skin, but not so much as you don't get a hint of tit from time to time (although you get full on arse when she decides to go for random swim, however thanks to the miracle of airbrushing, there's no boob or pubic region on show - sowwee boys, but this is a 12a cert film).
All of this careful teasing though goes straight out the window once Olga character makes her appearance, in which case she becomes the main lust interest of the piece but operates under the same rules, no skin, "funny" accent and oddly enough but something I'm noticing a lot in modern films, "women go barefoot during emotional scenes"...yeah, keep a look out for it, every time an emotional scene/romantic scene is played out in this movie, the women are always barefoot, but during scenes where they are supposed to be relaxing or conducting business type dialogue, they suddenly remember to wear their stiletto heels. Hollywood has a foot fetish.
#3 - Heroic bloodshed.
The films two heroes gets to die a glorious death to save the human race, but one of them manages to come back (hint: its not the black guy)...yeah I know this should really be a cliche but seriously, its a cop out ending.
So all in all, I Give Oblivion a 7 out of 10, because although its a cliche ridden piece of cheese, its still somewhat entertaining and the visual effects are quite pretty to look at. Id have given it an 8/10, but the wooden acting and cliche shit put me off.
After Earth - 2013
So, this one is based on an idea by Will Smith himself, so he did what he usually does and casts himself and his son in the two lead roles.
I'm not gonna bother going into the plot for this one because simply put, there isn't anything really worth mentioning.
Suffice to say,t his entire film is a simple "why does my daddy not love me" story which didn't need to have the sci-fi element tacked on to it (the story could easilly have been told in modern times with father and son being out on a camping trip together or something), being as that the only real major plot element hinges on "Kitai" (Smith jr) getting his daddys (Smith sr) respect by overcoming his fear and killing a bear-monster in order to save his injured dad.
An awful piece of pseudo sci-fi trash which is obviously influenced in some manner by scientology, and goes on way, way too long to be interesting in any way, shape or form.
3/10 - simply for some impressive special effects.
Enders Game - 2013
Based on the popular sci-fi/moralising series of novels by Orson Scott Card, the film stars Harrison Ford, Ben Kingsley and some kids who ive never heard of.
Essentially a "Harry Potter in space" type affair, Enders game tells the story of a young outcast who manages to get ahead in life simply by being smarter than just about everyone around him, although that said, his childlike naivete doesnt allow him to see when he is being manipulated.
I quite enjoyed this film, out of the three I watched tonight, it was my favourite. Although some of the scenes in the film watch like bad passages from any number of "weird school" type books (which in essence is the archetype that Enders game falls into, hence why I said "Harry Potter in space"), and the film tones down the level of violence and aggression found in the original book somewhat, the main storyline manages to survive on to film more or less intact.
Harrison Ford makes a good performance as the ruthless and pragmatic colonel Graff, and even Asa Butterfield manages to play "Ender" Wiggins very well, alternating between his naive childlike state to his ruthless and sometimes sadistic state without making it seem false or forced.
The story itself is an interesting one, which essentially boils down to a tale of a young man striving for acceptance and eventually learning to firstly accept the consequences of his actions, and secondly to take an active role in controlling his own life and destiny, rather than simply tagging along for the ride as many of his contemporaries do.
The film also takes on the subject of bullying in a fairly positive way, commending careful consideration of options before taking matters into your own hands.
Yeah, I liked this film - 9/10
Monday, 31 March 2014
"Selling Hitler" - 1991
"Selling Hitler" is a 5 part 1991 mini series, based on the non fiction book written by Robert Harris .
The plot of selling Hitler is a dramatisation of the events leading up to and surrounding the 1983 "Hitler Diaries" affair, albeit changed in places to add more comedic and satirical overtones, however despite these changes, the events shown actually happened exactly as they are presented.
Plot:-
In the late 1970s, journalist Gerd Heidermann (Jonathan Pryce ), a down on his luck German journalist with a burgeoning obsession for Nazi memorabilia (despite ownership of such items generally being illegal in Germany) comes across the rotting hulk of the Carin II, Hermann Gorings personal yacht , moored in a harbour. Although the vessel requires extensive repairs in order to make it seaworthy again, he somehow manages to get the money together to buy and restore it.
His employers, the well respected German news magazine "Der Stern" ("The Star") are skeptical when he states that his purchase and restoration of the vessel will allow him to coax former Nazis to come out of the woodwork in order for him to interview them, the results of which interviews will form the basis of articles and possibly books about the Third Reich which Sterns parent company can market worldwide, cashing in on the bizarre obsession the world seems to have with Nazism. Sterns management reluctantly agrees to this and advances him several thousand Deutschmarks.
Years pass and Heidermann restores the Carin II and interviews many old Nazi military officers, albeit while they are under the influence of drink while at parties hosted by Heidermann on the ship, however the material he produces for Stern is of extremely poor quality, and not worth publishing in any form. Heidermann finds himself almost bankrupt when Stern pulls his funding for the Nazi project, however Heidermann, whose interest in Nazi memorabilia has now become more of an obsession, refuses to give up on finding some sort of story relating to Nazis. A chance meeting with one of his Nazi contacts brings Heidermann into contact with a relic that he believes will give him the story he is looking for, as amongst his contacts extensive (and illegal) Nazi memorabilia collection is a diary, reportedly one of several volumes penned by Hitler himself in the years between 1932 and 1945.
Heidermann becomes fascinated by the idea that there are more of these books hidden somewhere, and immediately begins a painstaking investigation to firstly authenticate whether the diaries are real, and secondly to track down the source of these diaries, so that he can acquire them for himself.
His searches reveal that in the final days of the war, the German high command organised for planes to carry documents from Berlin to Hitlers alpine retreat. The ninth plane in this flight carried the Fuhrers personal archives, however, this plane crashed en route, its cargo presumably lost.
In 1981, Heidermann tracks down and visits the crash site and is overjoyed to find that it actually existed, and there is a strong possibility that some of the planes cargo survived, including the diaries which he covets so much. Further investigation leads him to the home of a "Dr. Konrad Fischer" (Alexei Sayle ), who is the source of the diary he had seen some months previously.
Heidermann is delighted that Fischer says that he can get him more diaries, but their cost is substantial, due to them having to be smuggled into West Germany by his brother who is a general in the East German army. Heidermann, eager to get his hands on the books whilst making a substantial profit at the same time, returns to the offices of Stern and gets the CEO of publishing, Manfreid Fischer ( Tom Baker ) to agree to give him 200,000 DM in cash in order to buy the first three volumes.
By the beginning of 1983, Stern has made nearly 3 million marks worth of cash payments to Heidermann, of which a sizable portion he has kept for himself, using it to purchase more Nazi memorabilia for his own personal collection, as well as spending it on an extravagant lifestyle, however, problems start to occur when the secrecy of the arrangement that exists between him, Fischer and the new CEO of publishing at Stern is threatened when it is requested that the documents he has bought thus far be authenticated.
Copies of several documents are sent to handwriting experts who state that the handwriting (written in almost unreadable Gothic script) is definitely Hitlers, however forensic tests on the documents begin to show anomalies, such as the paper containing bleaching agents which weren't used until the 1950s.
As it turns out, the "Hitler Diaries" are in fact not smuggled out of East Germany by Fischers brother, they are in fact crudely forged by Fischer himself (His real name being "Konrad Kujau") simply by writing in books bought from Woolworths, which are then artificially aged by soaking the pages in cold tea and battering them on his desk before adding embellishments such as official looking seals and lettering, again, made by using cheap plastic items. Kujau pretty much copied everything written in the diaries from other source texts, occasionally embellishing them with bits of his own personal opinions, many of which ended up being anachronistic.
After being given limited access to the books (as well as being told outright lies by Stern staff) the books are authenticated by noted historian Hugh Trevor-Roper ( Alan Bennett ), however another noted but disliked (due to his antisemitic views and holocaust denial) expert on Nazism, David Irving ( Roger Lloyd-Pack ) casts doubt on the books authenticity when he sees copies of some materials purchased from Kujau from the collection of one of his neo-Nazi contacts and finds them to be fakes, thus casting doubt on the veracity of Trevor-Ropers authentication.
Everything comes to a head when three separate forensic experts finally get to fully test the documents, and find them all to be bare faced forgeries of pretty low quality.
Both Heidermann and Kujau are arrested, the senior staff at Stern, The Sunday Times and Newsweek are forced to resign in shame, Hugh Trevor-Roper is branded an idiot by the press and Rupert Murdoch ( Barry Humphries ) enjoys a field day with "I told you so" style headlines (despite himself bidding nearly $5 million for the international rights to Sterns "scoop").
In the end, Heidermann was ruined and spent four and a half years in prison for fraud (owing to his use of monies given to him by Stern to buy property and memorabilia, most of which were fakes made by Kujau), Kujau served two years for forgery, which was cut down due to his openness and co-operation with police once he was arrested.
"Selling Hitler" is a wonderfully crafted bit of satirical-docu-comedy-drama (its getting harder to classify things these days innit?) , with the "Best actor" award going to Alexei Sayle in his portrayal of Fischer/Kujau as a drunken buffoon who gets so wrapped up in enjoying the money he is getting paid for his forgeries that he doesn't realise the consequences of such a large scale fraud.
Many themes are touched on throughout the series, such as:-
Id well recommend watching this series, which is available on DVD, although it is hard to come by, it can be viewed by other means.
The plot of selling Hitler is a dramatisation of the events leading up to and surrounding the 1983 "Hitler Diaries" affair, albeit changed in places to add more comedic and satirical overtones, however despite these changes, the events shown actually happened exactly as they are presented.
Plot:-
In the late 1970s, journalist Gerd Heidermann (Jonathan Pryce ), a down on his luck German journalist with a burgeoning obsession for Nazi memorabilia (despite ownership of such items generally being illegal in Germany) comes across the rotting hulk of the Carin II, Hermann Gorings personal yacht , moored in a harbour. Although the vessel requires extensive repairs in order to make it seaworthy again, he somehow manages to get the money together to buy and restore it.
His employers, the well respected German news magazine "Der Stern" ("The Star") are skeptical when he states that his purchase and restoration of the vessel will allow him to coax former Nazis to come out of the woodwork in order for him to interview them, the results of which interviews will form the basis of articles and possibly books about the Third Reich which Sterns parent company can market worldwide, cashing in on the bizarre obsession the world seems to have with Nazism. Sterns management reluctantly agrees to this and advances him several thousand Deutschmarks.
Years pass and Heidermann restores the Carin II and interviews many old Nazi military officers, albeit while they are under the influence of drink while at parties hosted by Heidermann on the ship, however the material he produces for Stern is of extremely poor quality, and not worth publishing in any form. Heidermann finds himself almost bankrupt when Stern pulls his funding for the Nazi project, however Heidermann, whose interest in Nazi memorabilia has now become more of an obsession, refuses to give up on finding some sort of story relating to Nazis. A chance meeting with one of his Nazi contacts brings Heidermann into contact with a relic that he believes will give him the story he is looking for, as amongst his contacts extensive (and illegal) Nazi memorabilia collection is a diary, reportedly one of several volumes penned by Hitler himself in the years between 1932 and 1945.
Heidermann becomes fascinated by the idea that there are more of these books hidden somewhere, and immediately begins a painstaking investigation to firstly authenticate whether the diaries are real, and secondly to track down the source of these diaries, so that he can acquire them for himself.
His searches reveal that in the final days of the war, the German high command organised for planes to carry documents from Berlin to Hitlers alpine retreat. The ninth plane in this flight carried the Fuhrers personal archives, however, this plane crashed en route, its cargo presumably lost.
In 1981, Heidermann tracks down and visits the crash site and is overjoyed to find that it actually existed, and there is a strong possibility that some of the planes cargo survived, including the diaries which he covets so much. Further investigation leads him to the home of a "Dr. Konrad Fischer" (Alexei Sayle ), who is the source of the diary he had seen some months previously.
Heidermann is delighted that Fischer says that he can get him more diaries, but their cost is substantial, due to them having to be smuggled into West Germany by his brother who is a general in the East German army. Heidermann, eager to get his hands on the books whilst making a substantial profit at the same time, returns to the offices of Stern and gets the CEO of publishing, Manfreid Fischer ( Tom Baker ) to agree to give him 200,000 DM in cash in order to buy the first three volumes.
By the beginning of 1983, Stern has made nearly 3 million marks worth of cash payments to Heidermann, of which a sizable portion he has kept for himself, using it to purchase more Nazi memorabilia for his own personal collection, as well as spending it on an extravagant lifestyle, however, problems start to occur when the secrecy of the arrangement that exists between him, Fischer and the new CEO of publishing at Stern is threatened when it is requested that the documents he has bought thus far be authenticated.
Copies of several documents are sent to handwriting experts who state that the handwriting (written in almost unreadable Gothic script) is definitely Hitlers, however forensic tests on the documents begin to show anomalies, such as the paper containing bleaching agents which weren't used until the 1950s.
As it turns out, the "Hitler Diaries" are in fact not smuggled out of East Germany by Fischers brother, they are in fact crudely forged by Fischer himself (His real name being "Konrad Kujau") simply by writing in books bought from Woolworths, which are then artificially aged by soaking the pages in cold tea and battering them on his desk before adding embellishments such as official looking seals and lettering, again, made by using cheap plastic items. Kujau pretty much copied everything written in the diaries from other source texts, occasionally embellishing them with bits of his own personal opinions, many of which ended up being anachronistic.
After being given limited access to the books (as well as being told outright lies by Stern staff) the books are authenticated by noted historian Hugh Trevor-Roper ( Alan Bennett ), however another noted but disliked (due to his antisemitic views and holocaust denial) expert on Nazism, David Irving ( Roger Lloyd-Pack ) casts doubt on the books authenticity when he sees copies of some materials purchased from Kujau from the collection of one of his neo-Nazi contacts and finds them to be fakes, thus casting doubt on the veracity of Trevor-Ropers authentication.
Everything comes to a head when three separate forensic experts finally get to fully test the documents, and find them all to be bare faced forgeries of pretty low quality.
Both Heidermann and Kujau are arrested, the senior staff at Stern, The Sunday Times and Newsweek are forced to resign in shame, Hugh Trevor-Roper is branded an idiot by the press and Rupert Murdoch ( Barry Humphries ) enjoys a field day with "I told you so" style headlines (despite himself bidding nearly $5 million for the international rights to Sterns "scoop").
In the end, Heidermann was ruined and spent four and a half years in prison for fraud (owing to his use of monies given to him by Stern to buy property and memorabilia, most of which were fakes made by Kujau), Kujau served two years for forgery, which was cut down due to his openness and co-operation with police once he was arrested.
"Selling Hitler" is a wonderfully crafted bit of satirical-docu-comedy-drama (its getting harder to classify things these days innit?) , with the "Best actor" award going to Alexei Sayle in his portrayal of Fischer/Kujau as a drunken buffoon who gets so wrapped up in enjoying the money he is getting paid for his forgeries that he doesn't realise the consequences of such a large scale fraud.
Many themes are touched on throughout the series, such as:-
- Sterns naive eagerness to acquire the diaries on a no questions asked basis without checking their authenticity.
- Heidermanns obsession with Nazi memorabilia, despite living in a country where the ownership and trade in such materials is pretty much illegal for private collectors.
- The eagerness in which all concerned have to use the forged materials to get the history books rewritten in order to portray Hitler in a much more flattering light, thus ignoring and/or excusing the atrocities committed by the Nazis during the war.
- The eagerness of all concerned to use the diaries to make ridiculous amounts of profit.
- The casual attitude which nearly all concerned show towards Nazism.
Id well recommend watching this series, which is available on DVD, although it is hard to come by, it can be viewed by other means.
Wednesday, 5 March 2014
Sci-Fi Review "The Starlost" (1973)
"The Starlost" was a very ambitious 1973 Canadian/American Sci-Fi TV series created by Harlan Ellison and starring Keir Dullea .
The series has been widely panned as being one of the worst Sci-Fi efforts known to man, with bad acting, poor scripting and bargain basement special effects being mentioned over and over again, however when i recently watched the entire series, I found it to be an interesting, if flawed, piece of Sci-Fi cheese.
The plot is as follows:-
800 years in the future, the generational ship "Ark" drifts aimlessly through space. Within its many habitat domes reside the remains of human civilisation, drifting through space following the destruction of the planet Earth in an unspecified disaster.
One of these domes is "Cypress corners", a habitat which is home to a group of people who live in a community modelled on the Amish culture.
A young man named Devon (Dullea) is an outcast amongst his own people, due to his outspoken nature and his refusal to accept the dictats of the village elders, particularly the one which prevents him from marrying the woman he loves, Rachel, whom has been promised in an arranged marriage to his friend Garth, the local blacksmith.
Devon finds out that the "voice of the creator" that the elders state is the voice of God and whom issues commands to the villagers, is nothing more than an altered recording of the chief elders voice, and, after stealing the elders key to the computer terminal, he finds himself being convicted of heresy and sentenced to death, however Rachel helps him escape and the two pass beyond the door marked "Beyond lies Death" to find that there are whole worlds they never knew existed.
Garth, as a matter of honour, pursues the two with the elders blessing, but, once he catches up with the other two, they all discover that the Ark is on a collision course with a star, and everyones life is at risk.
The series main story arc concerned Devon, Rachel and Garth trying to find a way to reactivate the Arks engines and find someone who could pilot the ship off its doomsday course, although secondary plot lines included the trio thwarting the alien Oro of Xar ( Walter Koenig ) , Garths feelings of resentment due to Devon and Rachels obvious liking for each other (Garth seems to spend nearly the entire series being pissed off about something, or simply looking angry a lot. Which isn't surprising being as he is portrayed as being the dumbest of the group, preferring more often than not to use violence when faced with a situation when smarts would be better)
The series was originally pitched to the BBC, and then to all of the major American TV networks, but none of them wanted to pick it up, simply because the series budget as planned was quite high for the time, and would have required the invention of several new special effects techniques in order to bring it to air as intended. The networks were also put off somewhat about the series' original storyline, which was much darker and adult in nature compared to the finished product, mainly due to Ellisons involvement as chief writer.
In order to get the series filmed, the producers decided to cut the budget of the series nearly in half, which also included abandoning development of the "Magicam" system which they had intended to use in order to superimpose the actors on to miniature sets in real time.
They also made so many cuts to the original script for the pilot episode "Voyage of discovery" (Originally to be titled "Phoenix without ashes", penned entirely by Ellison himself) that Ellison quit the series and insisted that his credit for the series be changed to his pseudonym "Cordwainer Bird" (A name he uses when he feels that his work has become too corrupted by outside influence that he feels that it is crap, so the name acts as a warning to those who know him that he feels this).
Despite having some interesting stories, the finished product is full of plot holes, wobbly set syndrome, cheap looking props and sets and dodgy blue screen/CSO effects that even big name cameo guest stars like John Colicos , Barry Morse and the aforementioned Walter Koenig couldnt make people like it much.
Still, nonetheless, if they did a remake of this series, they could probably do it now to Ellisons original vision and it would be good, but, as it is, the series isn't easy to watch, bordering on boring in places, laughable in others.
I give it 6/10
You can view the entire series HERE
The series has been widely panned as being one of the worst Sci-Fi efforts known to man, with bad acting, poor scripting and bargain basement special effects being mentioned over and over again, however when i recently watched the entire series, I found it to be an interesting, if flawed, piece of Sci-Fi cheese.
The plot is as follows:-
800 years in the future, the generational ship "Ark" drifts aimlessly through space. Within its many habitat domes reside the remains of human civilisation, drifting through space following the destruction of the planet Earth in an unspecified disaster.
One of these domes is "Cypress corners", a habitat which is home to a group of people who live in a community modelled on the Amish culture.
A young man named Devon (Dullea) is an outcast amongst his own people, due to his outspoken nature and his refusal to accept the dictats of the village elders, particularly the one which prevents him from marrying the woman he loves, Rachel, whom has been promised in an arranged marriage to his friend Garth, the local blacksmith.
Devon finds out that the "voice of the creator" that the elders state is the voice of God and whom issues commands to the villagers, is nothing more than an altered recording of the chief elders voice, and, after stealing the elders key to the computer terminal, he finds himself being convicted of heresy and sentenced to death, however Rachel helps him escape and the two pass beyond the door marked "Beyond lies Death" to find that there are whole worlds they never knew existed.
Garth, as a matter of honour, pursues the two with the elders blessing, but, once he catches up with the other two, they all discover that the Ark is on a collision course with a star, and everyones life is at risk.
The series main story arc concerned Devon, Rachel and Garth trying to find a way to reactivate the Arks engines and find someone who could pilot the ship off its doomsday course, although secondary plot lines included the trio thwarting the alien Oro of Xar ( Walter Koenig ) , Garths feelings of resentment due to Devon and Rachels obvious liking for each other (Garth seems to spend nearly the entire series being pissed off about something, or simply looking angry a lot. Which isn't surprising being as he is portrayed as being the dumbest of the group, preferring more often than not to use violence when faced with a situation when smarts would be better)
The series was originally pitched to the BBC, and then to all of the major American TV networks, but none of them wanted to pick it up, simply because the series budget as planned was quite high for the time, and would have required the invention of several new special effects techniques in order to bring it to air as intended. The networks were also put off somewhat about the series' original storyline, which was much darker and adult in nature compared to the finished product, mainly due to Ellisons involvement as chief writer.
In order to get the series filmed, the producers decided to cut the budget of the series nearly in half, which also included abandoning development of the "Magicam" system which they had intended to use in order to superimpose the actors on to miniature sets in real time.
They also made so many cuts to the original script for the pilot episode "Voyage of discovery" (Originally to be titled "Phoenix without ashes", penned entirely by Ellison himself) that Ellison quit the series and insisted that his credit for the series be changed to his pseudonym "Cordwainer Bird" (A name he uses when he feels that his work has become too corrupted by outside influence that he feels that it is crap, so the name acts as a warning to those who know him that he feels this).
Despite having some interesting stories, the finished product is full of plot holes, wobbly set syndrome, cheap looking props and sets and dodgy blue screen/CSO effects that even big name cameo guest stars like John Colicos , Barry Morse and the aforementioned Walter Koenig couldnt make people like it much.
Still, nonetheless, if they did a remake of this series, they could probably do it now to Ellisons original vision and it would be good, but, as it is, the series isn't easy to watch, bordering on boring in places, laughable in others.
I give it 6/10
You can view the entire series HERE
Tuesday, 11 February 2014
EPis0dIC! - The Outer Limits - "Soldier" (S02E01 - 1964)
"Night comes too soon on the battlefield. For some men it comes
permanently; their eyes never open to the light of day. But for this
man, fighting this war, there is never total darkness. The spidery beams
of light in the sky are the descendants of the modern laser beam — heat
rays that sear through tungsten steel and flesh as though they were
cheesecloth. And this soldier must go against those weapons. His name is
Qarlo, and he is a foot soldier, the ultimate infantryman. Trained from
birth by the State, he has never known love, or closeness, or warmth. He
is geared for only one purpose: to kill the Enemy. And the Enemy waits
for him…"
1800 years in the future, Qarlo Clobregnny (Michael Ansara ) sits smoking a cigarette whilst hiding amongst some rocks. He suddenly stops when a voice issuing from his battle helmet instructs him to "Find the enemy...Attack!..Kill!". A short distance away, a soldier from another army sits quietly and has a drink from his flask, his battle helmet also instructs him to "Find the enemy...Attack!..Kill!", both men carefully move from their hiding places as energy beams lance overhead, they spot each other, but, as they charge to attack each other, they are both hit by energy beams...and vanish.
"Time is fluid. The waters of forever close — and passage may not be completed. The present and the future are for a moment united. And the Enemy, half-today, half-tomorrow, is locked between…"
Qarlo materialises in an alleyway, still dressed in his body armour and carrying his energy weapon. At first he is bewildered, but he carefully removes his helmet, and is immediately deafened by the sounds of the city, which drives him mad with pain.
In his madness, he attacks several people and uses his energy weapon to destroy a police car, but he is stopped by several police officers and arrested.
Tom Kagan is a philologist, a specialist in languages, he is approached by the FBI and is asked to see if he can make sense of what the mysterious madman is saying, as ever since he was captured, he has repeated the same phrase over and over again...
"Nims qarlo clobregnny prite arem aean teaan deao"
...to which no one has thus yet been able to identify which, if any language he is speaking.
Kagen is escorted to meet with Qarlo, who is being kept in a padded cell, due to it "taking six marines to get him into the two strait jackets he is wearing". Kagen insists that they be left alone, and, within a minute of their first meeting manages to win a bit of his confidence by offering him a cigarette.
After a week of questioning, Kagen manages to deduce that Qarlo is a soldier and deciphers the language and meaning of Qarlos words. He is in fact speaking English, but the language is changed, mangled, when he says "Nims qarlo clobregnny prite arem aean teaan deao" , translated he is saying "(my)name is Qarlo Clobregnny, Private, RM EN TN DO", in essence, doing the same as any soldier would by simply giving his name, rank and serial number when captured by the enemy.
Kagen also deduces that Qarlo is from the future, by having an astronomer plot the location of the stars from drawings made by Qarlo of the night sky where he is from.
In order to continue "taming" Qarlo, Kagen requests that he be allowed to have Qarlo live with him and his family for a time, as Qarlo seems to be completely emotionally and psychologically deadened, and Kagen feels that exposure to other humans in a normal family environment will help him to lose their air of aggression and distrust he has of other people.
Initially, Qarlo seems to make some progress, revealing that in his time, the world is divided into two superstates, who are in the middle of an endless war. Qarlo says he is the product of artificial birth, and was brought up in the Clobregnny nursery to be a soldier from being a child, but despite this, he has never seen any of the ruling class in the flesh, whom he refers to as "the purple". He also says that in his time, they use cats as scout beasts, and the commanders communicate orders to the soldiers via telepathy.
Meanwhile, Qarlos enemy from the future fully materialises in our time, and immediately begins hunting Qarlo.
Things go wrong for Kagen when Qarlo breaks into a gun shop and helps himself to a high powered hunting rifle, stating that "a soldier needs a gun, otherwise he isn't a soldier". Kagen manages to talk him down by letting Qarlo accompany him back home, and tells him that if he wants a gun that badly, he can have one but he doesnt need to keep it on him at all times. Just as Qarlo agrees to hand over the stolen weapon, the enemy breaks into the house by disintegrating a wall with a blast from his own energy weapon. Qarlo throws himself on the enemy and the two men fight hand to hand, but then the enemys weapon goes off, disintegrating them both.
Kagen and his family look sadly at the pile of charred ash on the carpet....
I like this episode simply because Michael Ansaras performance of a man out of his own time is simply brilliant, he does a really good job of conveying the frustration that Qarlo must feel at having everything he has ever known taken away from him and replaced with what must seem to him to be a horrible parody of his own time.
This story was penned by Author and part time argument starter Harlan Ellison, who later went on to claim, and win, a lawsuit against James Cameron stating that the film "The Terminator" copied elements of both this story and another episode of the Outer Limits called "Demon with a glass hand"
The ending of the episode is rather sad, but also inevitable given the nature of Qarlos character, and Kagen efforts to make Qarlo more like a "modern" man as opposed to the near mindless sociopathic killing machine that he actually is are well portrayed by all concerned.
1800 years in the future, Qarlo Clobregnny (Michael Ansara ) sits smoking a cigarette whilst hiding amongst some rocks. He suddenly stops when a voice issuing from his battle helmet instructs him to "Find the enemy...Attack!..Kill!". A short distance away, a soldier from another army sits quietly and has a drink from his flask, his battle helmet also instructs him to "Find the enemy...Attack!..Kill!", both men carefully move from their hiding places as energy beams lance overhead, they spot each other, but, as they charge to attack each other, they are both hit by energy beams...and vanish.
"Time is fluid. The waters of forever close — and passage may not be completed. The present and the future are for a moment united. And the Enemy, half-today, half-tomorrow, is locked between…"
Qarlo materialises in an alleyway, still dressed in his body armour and carrying his energy weapon. At first he is bewildered, but he carefully removes his helmet, and is immediately deafened by the sounds of the city, which drives him mad with pain.
In his madness, he attacks several people and uses his energy weapon to destroy a police car, but he is stopped by several police officers and arrested.
Tom Kagan is a philologist, a specialist in languages, he is approached by the FBI and is asked to see if he can make sense of what the mysterious madman is saying, as ever since he was captured, he has repeated the same phrase over and over again...
"Nims qarlo clobregnny prite arem aean teaan deao"
...to which no one has thus yet been able to identify which, if any language he is speaking.
Kagen is escorted to meet with Qarlo, who is being kept in a padded cell, due to it "taking six marines to get him into the two strait jackets he is wearing". Kagen insists that they be left alone, and, within a minute of their first meeting manages to win a bit of his confidence by offering him a cigarette.
After a week of questioning, Kagen manages to deduce that Qarlo is a soldier and deciphers the language and meaning of Qarlos words. He is in fact speaking English, but the language is changed, mangled, when he says "Nims qarlo clobregnny prite arem aean teaan deao" , translated he is saying "(my)name is Qarlo Clobregnny, Private, RM EN TN DO", in essence, doing the same as any soldier would by simply giving his name, rank and serial number when captured by the enemy.
Kagen also deduces that Qarlo is from the future, by having an astronomer plot the location of the stars from drawings made by Qarlo of the night sky where he is from.
In order to continue "taming" Qarlo, Kagen requests that he be allowed to have Qarlo live with him and his family for a time, as Qarlo seems to be completely emotionally and psychologically deadened, and Kagen feels that exposure to other humans in a normal family environment will help him to lose their air of aggression and distrust he has of other people.
Initially, Qarlo seems to make some progress, revealing that in his time, the world is divided into two superstates, who are in the middle of an endless war. Qarlo says he is the product of artificial birth, and was brought up in the Clobregnny nursery to be a soldier from being a child, but despite this, he has never seen any of the ruling class in the flesh, whom he refers to as "the purple". He also says that in his time, they use cats as scout beasts, and the commanders communicate orders to the soldiers via telepathy.
Meanwhile, Qarlos enemy from the future fully materialises in our time, and immediately begins hunting Qarlo.
Things go wrong for Kagen when Qarlo breaks into a gun shop and helps himself to a high powered hunting rifle, stating that "a soldier needs a gun, otherwise he isn't a soldier". Kagen manages to talk him down by letting Qarlo accompany him back home, and tells him that if he wants a gun that badly, he can have one but he doesnt need to keep it on him at all times. Just as Qarlo agrees to hand over the stolen weapon, the enemy breaks into the house by disintegrating a wall with a blast from his own energy weapon. Qarlo throws himself on the enemy and the two men fight hand to hand, but then the enemys weapon goes off, disintegrating them both.
Kagen and his family look sadly at the pile of charred ash on the carpet....
I like this episode simply because Michael Ansaras performance of a man out of his own time is simply brilliant, he does a really good job of conveying the frustration that Qarlo must feel at having everything he has ever known taken away from him and replaced with what must seem to him to be a horrible parody of his own time.
This story was penned by Author and part time argument starter Harlan Ellison, who later went on to claim, and win, a lawsuit against James Cameron stating that the film "The Terminator" copied elements of both this story and another episode of the Outer Limits called "Demon with a glass hand"
The ending of the episode is rather sad, but also inevitable given the nature of Qarlos character, and Kagen efforts to make Qarlo more like a "modern" man as opposed to the near mindless sociopathic killing machine that he actually is are well portrayed by all concerned.
Sunday, 2 February 2014
EPis0dIC! - UFO - "The Square Triangle" (S01E09 - 1970)
...SHADO mobilises its space interceptors after S.I.D detects an incoming UFO whose trajectory indicates it will land somewhere in southern England. Commander Straker hurredly calculates a rough landing point while Colonel Foster waits for the order to intercept, however at the last minute Straker orders that the UFO be allowed to pass through and land unmolested.
Meanwhile, as S.I.D reports that the UFO has passed through SHADOs outer defence cordons, a woman drives seemingly alone along a deserted road.
The UFO lands in the middle of an area of dense forest, so Straker orders Foster to lead a team of SHADO mobile units to track down the UFO and capture it intact.
The woman is not alone in her car, a young man is with her, she continues driving as he nonchalantly smokes a cigarette.
The SHADO mobiles are deployed into the search area, and begin looking for the alien craft, meanwhile, the woman and the young man reach an isolated cottage, which the man begins looking around suspiciously. The man, "Cass" (Played by a very young Patrick Mower ) tells the woman, "Liz", to "go and get it", she returns from the bedroom carrying a gun.
Straker monitors the mobiles progress, while Alec Freeman enquires why Straker hasn't simply "asked the aliens round for drinks". Straker, in private, explains that he has let the UFO through because as an organisation, SHADO knows very little about the aliens or their spacecraft, therefore, in this instance, he allowed the UFO through in order to capture it intact and learn its secrets.
Cass and Liz are lovers, and Cass has planned that Liz's husband is to die that very night, killed by his own wife in what will look like an accident as he comes in the front door. His planning is meticulous, every detail has been worked out, nothing can go wrong.
In the forest, a security guard and his dog stumble across an alien, the dog attacks the alien while the guard runs off, but is then later killed when another alien shoots him with its machine gun, before dragging his corpse away back to their ship.
The SHADO mobiles close in on the UFO, but, they are too late, the UFO has spent too long in Earths atmosphere, and it spectacularly explodes before they can capture it.
Liz and Cass lie in wait in the darkened house, the front door opens, and, after some cajoling, Liz empties the gun into the figure that enters the house, except, to their horror, the figure that came in the door was not her husband, but instead was the other alien, who had escaped the clutches of the guard dog, and had managed to find his way to the house after damaging his helmet.
Cass panics and tells Liz to go through with the plan as they worked it out, he then leaves in a hurry and tells her to contact him later.
SHADO searches the wreckage of the UFO and finds the security guards body, and then finds his dog, which follows the scent of the alien and leads them to the isolated cottage, where they find the dead alien and a terrified Liz, whom Colonel Foster arrests and has taken back to SHADO headquarters. The SHADO operatives also pick up Cass as he flees, and take him along too.
Later, Lizs husband arrives to find Foster still in his house, after a tense standoff between the two, Foster orders the husband away and says he will be contacted later once they have completed their investigation.
Cass and Liz are reunited and informed of what has happened by Straker himself, initially they don't believe him, but as he points out, whether they believe him or not is irrelevant, as they have been administered an amnesia drug, which will completely erase their memories of the past 12 hours.
Straker knows what they were up to, as do Alec and Foster, however as Foster ironically points out "unfortunately for them an alien walked through that door instead of her husband", Straker acknowledges that although they can erase their memories of the, albeit brief, encounter with an alien and SHADO, it will not erase their intent to commit murder, and also unfortunately, they cannot warn the husband about his possible impending death, nor can they tip off the local police without raising suspicion about themselves, Straker regrettably states that any future events will have to take their course, and Liz and Cass are to be released as soon as their memories are erased.
The episode ends with Liz standing over her husbands grave, before then walking away hand in hand with Cass....
Of all the episodes of UFO, this one is probably my second favourite, (My overall favourite being "A Question of Priorities") simply because in this storyline, SHADO and its ongoing battle against the alien threat is secondary to the story of a murderous love triangle, but then both storylines crash together when a one in a million chance event occurs. I also like how Straker finds himself in a moral dilemma over whether to compromise the worlds safety simply to prevent the murder of one man, but finds himself having to make the difficult decision to allow the man to die so that SHADO can continue operating in secret, even though his two closest friends disagree with him.
Film Review:- "Riddick" (2013)
Hmm, so, after seeing the somewhat lackluster "The chronicles of Riddick" many years ago (which at one point went on to become a staple filler of ITV2s late night film slots) I didn't hold out much hope of there ever being another film about the seemingly invincible ninja assassin type, save for video game entries, (none of which I have ever gotten round to playing) so, it came as something of a surprise when during a visit to my local ASDA I saw "Riddick" on sale in the DVD section.
Showing how much attention I pay to modern cinema, I wasn't even aware that this film had been made, let alone had been out long enough to be published on DVD/Blu-Ray (I don't get this newfangled Blu-ray stuff).
Now, being as I somewhat enjoyed the original "Pitch Black", and found "Chronicles" to be mildly interesting, I thought I might as well give this one a shot....
....Oh dear....
So, at the end of "Chronicles", Riddick seemingly got the answers to all the questions he had about his life, and became literally a king by his own hand by slaying the enemy who had put his own people to death (erm...isn't that the plot to Conan??) , so, realistically there wasn't anywhere more for the plot line to explore, however, Vin Diesel himself wasn't happy to see the character he had made his own (even more so than Dominic Toretto, who wasn't as much of a breakout character as Riddick ended up being ) get some sort of closure, so instead, old Vinny-boy decided he wanted to finance a third entry in the series, even appearing in a cameo role in "The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift" in order to secure the rights to the Riddick franchise for himself, then employing the services of David Twohy as chief writer to bring his ideas for the further adventures of the ninja-assassin to the screen once again.
The film starts with Riddick, still dressed in his Grand Marshall armour, being attacked by a carrion eater as he lies buried under rocks and dirt on an un named planet.
A flashback sequence tells the tale that after Riddick became Grand Marshall of the Necromonger fleet, he rapidly began to lose his power base after his refusal to convert to the necromonger religion, and thus a campaign of intrigue sees him being left stranded on the planet he is now on.
after picking himself up and dusting himself off etc etc, he finds himself being hunted by two teams of mercenaries, before he escapes the planet and heads off for further adventures.
Yeah, thats it, the films plot in a nutshell, and trust me, theres not much more to it than that.
Riddick spends about half of the film playing a "Robinson Crusoe" type role and acting as his own biographer in a series of laconic voiceovers, then after the merc guys turn up, its a predictable sequence of events as he picks them off one by one by being cleverer than them.
I'll say it, this film is boring as fuck, even the action bits are yawnsome, the "character development" as it is is bland and completely uninteresting, and while watching the film I kept thinking "something awesome is gonna happen soon..." but alas, it was not to be.
Riddick, the project financed and produced by Vin Diesel himself, is nothing but a self indulgent vanity project which falls flat on its arse, promising so much and absolutely failing to deliver, apart from you get to see Katee Sackhoffs tits...thats probably the only bit of the film I liked.
I give it 3 pairs of goggles out of 10, and thats only for the special effects and Katee Sackhoffs "celestial orbs".
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)