"The Pit and The Pendulum" (also released for a short time under the title of "The Inquisitor"), is a 1991 adaptation of Edgar Allan Poes short story of the same name.
Directed by Stuart Gordon, this film is a closer adaptation of the original story than the classic 1961 adaptation starring Vincent Price, although the film does incorporate elements of other stories by Poe, most notably "The Cask of Amontillado".
The year is 1492, and the Spanish City of Toledo is in the grip of terror. Friar Tomas de Torquemada (Lance Henriksen), the Grand Inquisitor, leads a holy mission to rid Spain of all sinners and heretics, which he and his cronies approach with murderous and sadistic glee.
The opening scene features Torquemada directing his henchmen to open the tomb of a long dead nobleman, whose dessicated corpse is then informed it has been found guilty of heresy and is sentenced to receive 20 lashes. once the sentence has been carried out, the bones are ground up and Torquemada has them placed in an egg timer. When he informs the noblemans wife that due to her deceased husbands supposed heresy, their fortune and lands are being confiscated by the church, she denounces him as a thief, which earns both her and her children a trip to the inquisitions torture chambers.
Later, as Torquemada presides over the noble womans execution, a young woman in the crowd begs him to show mercy, and as soon as he sees her, Torquemada becomes enthralled by her beauty, which leads him to have her arrested for witchcraft. Over time, Torquemada finds himself becoming more and more lustful towards her, so he offers her a bargain, if she will submit to his lustful desires, he will release her husband.
Throughout the film, Torquemada is seen dabbling with a design for a new torture device, the eponymous "Pit and the Pendulum", consisting of a razor sharp blade which swings from a pendulum and slowly lowers down to slice a victim positioned below it in two, and a pit hidden under a trap door below the victim, which opens to reveal the pit is filled with spikes.
Torquemada explains that he requires the creation of new and more vicious torture devices as people become used to the same tortures, so therefore he has to make sure that the threat of torture remains terrifying to sinners and heretics.
Co stars in this film include Oliver Reed, making a cameo appearance as a cardinal sent by the Pope to investigate the rumours that Torquemadas tortures are becoming too depraved for the Vatican to stomach, and Jeffrey Combs as Francisco, a cleric in the employ of the Inquisition who takes some pleasure in watching others tortured and killed.
The film is a character driven piece of supernatural horror, although there are elements of dark humour in there, one particularly chucklesome example of this is when a witch is being taken to execution and Francisco apologises to her that they didnt have time to torture a full confession out of her before she was executed.
Although little more than a "direct to video" film, which never had a cinema release proper (it was shown at a few film festivals), and suffers from some bargain basement special effects, it is nonetheless a very good film, with Henriksen putting in a brilliant performance as the fanatical and evil Torquemada.
I give it 8 out of 10 sacrificial lambs.
Monday, 29 July 2013
Aint War Hell? - Dr. Strangelove (1964)
Dr. Strangelove, or, to give it its correct and full title, "Dr. Strangelove Or: How I learned to stop worrying and love the bomb" is a seminal film made in 1964, directed and co-written by Stanley Kubrick.
Based on the book "Red Alert" (also published under the title "Two hours to doom") by author Peter George, the film takes a satirical look at cold war politics, set against the backdrop of attempts to prevent the mutually assured destruction of the human race in a global nuclear conflict.
Peter Sellers, who at the time was considered to be a "bankable" name in films, crams in three roles, fistly as US president Merkin Muffley (a slang name for a pubic wig) , then as RAF exchange officer Group Captain Lionel Mandrake, and then finally as the titular character of "Dr. Strangelove", the ex-Nazi scientific advisor the the president.
Sellers was also cast to play the role of Texan bomber commander Major T.J "King" Kong, however his inability to mimic a texan accent, coupled with an injury which would have prevented him from working on the mock up set of a B-52 bomber meant that the role was recast with veteran western actor Slim Pickens in the role (Pickens was kept unaware that the role was part of a comedy film, so thus he played his part completely straight, or, to put it more honestly, he played the role as himself).
James Earl Jones makes an early film appearance as one of the B-52s crew, and actor George C Scott plays the role of fanatical US General Turgison (Kubrick tricked Scott into playing the role of Turgidson in a far more OTT manner than Scott was willing to play him, simply by telling Scott that he wanted him to do an OTT performance as a warm up to shooting the main scenes, then Kubrick used the scenes in which Scott behaved in a ridiculous manner in the final film. Scott was not pleased with this and refused to ever work with Kubrick again as he felt that Kubrick didn't take his talents seriously)
This film has, quire rightly, been lauded as one of the best films ever made, simply because it presents the very real concern of the outbreak of world war 3 in a manner which, even though acted out in a comedic and somewhat farcical manner, was a very real threat throughout the 60s and 70s, and even though a caption at the beginning of the film states that a situation such as the one presented in the film could never happen, it turned out that findings found after the cold war ended showed that indeed such a situation could have easily occurred on both sides.
The plot is fairly simplistic, but also complicated at the same time, requiring some knowledge of the circumstances of the cold war in order to fully appreciate.
Brigadier General Jack D. Ripper (USAF) blames Soviet fluoridation of drinking water for a single episode or premature ejaculation and the humiliation that resulted from it, and thus his paranoid and ultra nationalistic mind arrives at the conclusion that the only way for hm to be able to preserve the "precious bodily fluids" of honest Americans is to start a nuclear war.
To this end, he uses a little known "Emergency plan R", which would allow air force commanders to make nuclear strikes on Soviet target following the destruction of Washington D.C without authorisation from the president.
To this end, he orders the 843rd bomber wing under his command to proceed to attack their pre assigned targets within the Soviet Union, and, to ensure the bomber crews do not deviate from the plan, their communications are all to be routed through a device called the "CRM-114 Discriminator", which will automatically ignore any radio signals which are not preceded by a three letter code, which only Ripper himself knows.
Very quickly, the forces of the USA and the USSR realise that this isn't a training exersize, and begin frantically working together to stop the mutual annihilation of the human species.
One of the real gems in this film is the way in which the military types are portrayed as being both warmongering and unable to think for themselves, as they blindly follow orders to the letter with no regard or interest in what they are actually doing. The encounter between Mandrake and Colonel "Bat" Guano exemplifies this splendidly, as Mandrake is the only person realistically capable of stopping world war 3, but yet Guanos rigid adherence to his orders delays Mandrake in preventing the war while they argue over semantics and nuances in the orders given to Guano, resulting in some believable and very dark humour which I could actually see happening in real life.
The final scene, featuring Dr. Strangeloves idea for preserving human life after the war, is simply brilliant, and showcases that even as the world is ending around them, the idiots in power are more concerned about staying in power than they are about stopping disaster, especially as it means that they will all basically become entitled to a lifetime of consequence free indiscriminate sex with young female survivors.
D.R Strangelove is most definitely a film that EVERYONE should watch, as aside from beautifully illustrating the total pointlessness of war, it also beautifully points out the uncomfortable fact that most people in positions of power are either completely incompetent, completely inept and/or are only interested in furthering their own gains.
I give this film 10 out of 10 Teller/Ulam devices!
Based on the book "Red Alert" (also published under the title "Two hours to doom") by author Peter George, the film takes a satirical look at cold war politics, set against the backdrop of attempts to prevent the mutually assured destruction of the human race in a global nuclear conflict.
Peter Sellers, who at the time was considered to be a "bankable" name in films, crams in three roles, fistly as US president Merkin Muffley (a slang name for a pubic wig) , then as RAF exchange officer Group Captain Lionel Mandrake, and then finally as the titular character of "Dr. Strangelove", the ex-Nazi scientific advisor the the president.
Sellers was also cast to play the role of Texan bomber commander Major T.J "King" Kong, however his inability to mimic a texan accent, coupled with an injury which would have prevented him from working on the mock up set of a B-52 bomber meant that the role was recast with veteran western actor Slim Pickens in the role (Pickens was kept unaware that the role was part of a comedy film, so thus he played his part completely straight, or, to put it more honestly, he played the role as himself).
James Earl Jones makes an early film appearance as one of the B-52s crew, and actor George C Scott plays the role of fanatical US General Turgison (Kubrick tricked Scott into playing the role of Turgidson in a far more OTT manner than Scott was willing to play him, simply by telling Scott that he wanted him to do an OTT performance as a warm up to shooting the main scenes, then Kubrick used the scenes in which Scott behaved in a ridiculous manner in the final film. Scott was not pleased with this and refused to ever work with Kubrick again as he felt that Kubrick didn't take his talents seriously)
This film has, quire rightly, been lauded as one of the best films ever made, simply because it presents the very real concern of the outbreak of world war 3 in a manner which, even though acted out in a comedic and somewhat farcical manner, was a very real threat throughout the 60s and 70s, and even though a caption at the beginning of the film states that a situation such as the one presented in the film could never happen, it turned out that findings found after the cold war ended showed that indeed such a situation could have easily occurred on both sides.
The plot is fairly simplistic, but also complicated at the same time, requiring some knowledge of the circumstances of the cold war in order to fully appreciate.
Brigadier General Jack D. Ripper (USAF) blames Soviet fluoridation of drinking water for a single episode or premature ejaculation and the humiliation that resulted from it, and thus his paranoid and ultra nationalistic mind arrives at the conclusion that the only way for hm to be able to preserve the "precious bodily fluids" of honest Americans is to start a nuclear war.
To this end, he uses a little known "Emergency plan R", which would allow air force commanders to make nuclear strikes on Soviet target following the destruction of Washington D.C without authorisation from the president.
To this end, he orders the 843rd bomber wing under his command to proceed to attack their pre assigned targets within the Soviet Union, and, to ensure the bomber crews do not deviate from the plan, their communications are all to be routed through a device called the "CRM-114 Discriminator", which will automatically ignore any radio signals which are not preceded by a three letter code, which only Ripper himself knows.
Very quickly, the forces of the USA and the USSR realise that this isn't a training exersize, and begin frantically working together to stop the mutual annihilation of the human species.
One of the real gems in this film is the way in which the military types are portrayed as being both warmongering and unable to think for themselves, as they blindly follow orders to the letter with no regard or interest in what they are actually doing. The encounter between Mandrake and Colonel "Bat" Guano exemplifies this splendidly, as Mandrake is the only person realistically capable of stopping world war 3, but yet Guanos rigid adherence to his orders delays Mandrake in preventing the war while they argue over semantics and nuances in the orders given to Guano, resulting in some believable and very dark humour which I could actually see happening in real life.
The final scene, featuring Dr. Strangeloves idea for preserving human life after the war, is simply brilliant, and showcases that even as the world is ending around them, the idiots in power are more concerned about staying in power than they are about stopping disaster, especially as it means that they will all basically become entitled to a lifetime of consequence free indiscriminate sex with young female survivors.
D.R Strangelove is most definitely a film that EVERYONE should watch, as aside from beautifully illustrating the total pointlessness of war, it also beautifully points out the uncomfortable fact that most people in positions of power are either completely incompetent, completely inept and/or are only interested in furthering their own gains.
I give this film 10 out of 10 Teller/Ulam devices!
Sunday, 28 July 2013
Your face, my FARCE! - The Big Bus (1976)
It became rather fashionable during the 70s for films to be made about large scale disasters, and thus the "Disaster movie" genre was born.
Films like "The Towering Inferno", "The Poseidon Adventure" and "Airport" drew hundreds of people to cinemas worldwide and told melodramatic stories of situations gone horribly wring in various settings.
Inevitably though people got bored of this type of film and satirists began making parodies of the genre, "The Big Bus" being one of them.
Ostensibly a farcical parody of disaster movies in general, "The Big Bus" takes a familiar disaster movie trope, that of a new and untested vehicle intended for public use (similar to how The Poseidon Adventure used a large ship), and subjects it to a series of farcical events in order to maintain a coherent plot, an endeavour in which it is largely successful.
The plot centres on the efforts of the "Coyote Bus Company" (An obvious parody of the Greyhound bus company) to create a bus capable of travelling from New York to Denver non stop, a feat which has never been done before and is considered to be a milestone in human engineering (stay with me on this one...).
The end result is the "Cyclops", a ridiculously massive double decker bus, powered by a small nuclear reactor and containing such luxuries as a swimming pool, restaurant/cocktail lounge and even a bowling alley. The irony of this is is that although the bus itself is massive and contains all this luxury, it can only really carry a small number of passengers, and even then its cramped confines don't allow for them to travel in comfort, even though the bus is classed as being a "1st class luxury conveyance".
Things don't go according to plan though as even before the Cyclops sets off on its epic journey, an iron lung bound billionaire named "Iron Man" (Jose Ferrer) conspires with Arab oil sheiks to destroy the Cyclops in order for them to maintain their monopoly on petroleum based energy.
The film stars some bigish names, Stockard Channing plays the Cyclops' designer and acts as the films love interest, John Beck stars as the inept co-pilot of the Cyclops, Larry Hagman stars as a hapless and rather inept private doctor, and even Rene Auberjonois stars as a priest who wants to break with tradition and actually go out and get laid, much against the wishes of his cardinal.
Most of the films humour comes from the farcical situations the bus crew and its passengers find themselves in, and from a series of visual and auditory gags, for example when the Cyclops sets out on its journey, they test the aerodynamics of its hull by accelerating to its theoretical maximum speed of 90 mph, which allows the bus to break through the barrier encountered by air resistance, which is referred to by the bus's captain as "Breaking wind".
This film performed extremely poorly at the box office due to its farcical nature and a barely coherent plot, which in honesty consists of a series of sketch based comedy routines and non squiturs.
I just love how all the actors and actresses manage to deliver their lines deadpan, even though the stuff they are saying is simply nonsense most of the time, but they all manage to deliver it in such a manner that they really do sound serious.
The film also contains a series of running jokes, which, if I'm honest, aren't particularly funny, they probably sounded great on paper but did not translate well on to film, for example the numerous references to "captain" Torrances supposed cannibalism, which he is said to have committed years ago when the bus he was driving broke down in a remote area and he and his co-driver were said to have eaten the passengers in order to survive, something which he strongly denies but admits he did inadvertently eat someones foot in a stew that was cooked up by the co-driver.
I recall seeing this film on TV only once during the mid 90s, where a slightly edited version (to remove some of the films sexual references) was shown on BBC1 as a piece of Sunday afternoon filler in between the"Eastenders" omnibus and "Songs of Praise". It left a big enough impression on me though that when someone mentioned it on facebook i just had to hunt it down and watch it again, even though I knew it wasn't a good film.
To sum up, "The Big Bus" isnt going to give you jaw ache from constant laughing, in many ways its a somewhat cringe worthy effort at comedy, but it does have its moments, especially in its faux action sequences.
The main star of this film though is not the actors playing the roles, but the Cyclops itself, which was actually built as a fully functioning roadworthy vehicle, although one not capable of actually transporting passengers.
Films like "The Towering Inferno", "The Poseidon Adventure" and "Airport" drew hundreds of people to cinemas worldwide and told melodramatic stories of situations gone horribly wring in various settings.
Inevitably though people got bored of this type of film and satirists began making parodies of the genre, "The Big Bus" being one of them.
Ostensibly a farcical parody of disaster movies in general, "The Big Bus" takes a familiar disaster movie trope, that of a new and untested vehicle intended for public use (similar to how The Poseidon Adventure used a large ship), and subjects it to a series of farcical events in order to maintain a coherent plot, an endeavour in which it is largely successful.
The plot centres on the efforts of the "Coyote Bus Company" (An obvious parody of the Greyhound bus company) to create a bus capable of travelling from New York to Denver non stop, a feat which has never been done before and is considered to be a milestone in human engineering (stay with me on this one...).
The end result is the "Cyclops", a ridiculously massive double decker bus, powered by a small nuclear reactor and containing such luxuries as a swimming pool, restaurant/cocktail lounge and even a bowling alley. The irony of this is is that although the bus itself is massive and contains all this luxury, it can only really carry a small number of passengers, and even then its cramped confines don't allow for them to travel in comfort, even though the bus is classed as being a "1st class luxury conveyance".
Things don't go according to plan though as even before the Cyclops sets off on its epic journey, an iron lung bound billionaire named "Iron Man" (Jose Ferrer) conspires with Arab oil sheiks to destroy the Cyclops in order for them to maintain their monopoly on petroleum based energy.
The film stars some bigish names, Stockard Channing plays the Cyclops' designer and acts as the films love interest, John Beck stars as the inept co-pilot of the Cyclops, Larry Hagman stars as a hapless and rather inept private doctor, and even Rene Auberjonois stars as a priest who wants to break with tradition and actually go out and get laid, much against the wishes of his cardinal.
Most of the films humour comes from the farcical situations the bus crew and its passengers find themselves in, and from a series of visual and auditory gags, for example when the Cyclops sets out on its journey, they test the aerodynamics of its hull by accelerating to its theoretical maximum speed of 90 mph, which allows the bus to break through the barrier encountered by air resistance, which is referred to by the bus's captain as "Breaking wind".
This film performed extremely poorly at the box office due to its farcical nature and a barely coherent plot, which in honesty consists of a series of sketch based comedy routines and non squiturs.
I just love how all the actors and actresses manage to deliver their lines deadpan, even though the stuff they are saying is simply nonsense most of the time, but they all manage to deliver it in such a manner that they really do sound serious.
The film also contains a series of running jokes, which, if I'm honest, aren't particularly funny, they probably sounded great on paper but did not translate well on to film, for example the numerous references to "captain" Torrances supposed cannibalism, which he is said to have committed years ago when the bus he was driving broke down in a remote area and he and his co-driver were said to have eaten the passengers in order to survive, something which he strongly denies but admits he did inadvertently eat someones foot in a stew that was cooked up by the co-driver.
I recall seeing this film on TV only once during the mid 90s, where a slightly edited version (to remove some of the films sexual references) was shown on BBC1 as a piece of Sunday afternoon filler in between the"Eastenders" omnibus and "Songs of Praise". It left a big enough impression on me though that when someone mentioned it on facebook i just had to hunt it down and watch it again, even though I knew it wasn't a good film.
To sum up, "The Big Bus" isnt going to give you jaw ache from constant laughing, in many ways its a somewhat cringe worthy effort at comedy, but it does have its moments, especially in its faux action sequences.
The main star of this film though is not the actors playing the roles, but the Cyclops itself, which was actually built as a fully functioning roadworthy vehicle, although one not capable of actually transporting passengers.
Monday, 22 July 2013
God Only Knows!:- Hudson Hawk (1991)
Hudson Hawk is a 1991 Action/Adventure/Comedy film starring Bruce Willis, Andie MacDowell, James Coburn, Richard E. Grant, Sandra Bernhard and David Caruso (among others, all in all theres quite a few biggish names in this flick).
The film itself revolves around the premise that Leonardo Da Vinci accidentally discovered a way to turn lead into gold whilst looking for a way to mass produce cheap bronze that he needed in order to build a giant statue of a horse he had been commissioned to make for the Italian noble house of Sforza.
Knowing this invention would probably cause problems, Da Vinci hid the three parts of a crystal required for his gold making machine in some of his artworks.
500 years later, Eddie "Hudson Hawk" Hawkins, a master thief is blackmailed into stealing these artworks by a conglomerate of groups consisting of a small time mafia family, a rogue C.I.A spec ops unit, the Vatican's secret service and a disgustingly rich married couple called Darwin and Minerva Mayflower.
Now, ill be honest, this film is AWFUL, which reflected in its reviews at the time of its release, and subsequent poor box office and home video performance, however, in recent years Hudson Hawk has become something of a cult hit, due to its pseudo religious steam/clockworkpunk-esque leanings, as well as its rather bizarre and unholy amalgamation of cartoon-esque violence, farcical comedy and over the top action.
There are a few running gags that occur throughout the film, first and foremost is Hawks inability to enjoy a cup of cappuccino, which was first on his "to do" list after he got released from prison, but every time he manages to get his hands on one, it ends up being ruined by one means or another.
The second major running gag in the film is Grant and Bernhards portrayal of the comic book villains of the piece, the Mayflowers. This married villain team are so ridiculously over the top that scenes with them in end up being both painful to watch but also horrendously unintentionally funny.
The third major running gag is Hawks budding relationship with the Vatican secret agent Anna Baragli (MacDowell), whom everyone other than Hawk himself knows is a nun, and thus not really able to enter into a relationship with anyone.
The actual film itself doesnt seem to be able to decide whether it wants to be a family movie or an adult oriented action movie. Co-written by Willis himself, the film features many scenes of cartoony violence, which would make it an ideal family movie, however it then goes on to feature scenes with a lot of swearing and scenes of a sexual nature, as well as some scenes which would be considered too violent for the average child, even back in 1991 when it was released.
These two things combined confused audiences and critics alike, one minute you were seeing Willis engaging in a farcical fistfight with someone, the next he was telling someone that they were "motherfuckers" before blowing them up with a bomb, its almost as if Willis' contribution to the screenplay was simply handing the scriptwriters a copy of the shooting script for "Die Hard 2" (which he had just recently starred in) and told them to use that as inspiration.
Bad editing also has a lot to answer for, as many of the scenes lurch uncomfortably from one to another, which often creates plot holes or bizarre non-sequiturs (possibly an attempt to keep up the "comic book" tone of the film). Elements of exposition seemed to be trimmed down or rushed through in order to maintain a "fast paced" filming style.
To sum up, "Hudson Hawk" is a bad film simply because it watches like an ego trip on Willis's part, with Willis himself not really putting in much of an effort to make Hawk an interestign character outisde of his occasional foul mouthed outbursts or smug satisfaction when he pulls off a job, and then there's the musical numbers...oh god the musical numbers....a recurring theme is that Hawk and his partner in crime Tommy "five-tone" Messina sing songs in order to keep time when performing jobs. This was a gag worked in basically to add something to what would be normally tedious scenes of them breaking into buildings or performing tasks required to set up the theft of something, but instead it just makes for uncomfortable viewing as they both give away their positions and/or reach a crescendo duet at the climax of a job, oh, and most of these duets were featured on the films soundtrack album to boot, not that anyone of sound mind bought it.
One final word, the religious aspect of this film is encompassed totally by the Vaticans self interest in preventing anyone from stealing art treasures from its vaults, cue lots of mumblings about God not approving and so on.
Yeah, Hudson Hawk, a good idea, ruined by egotism, bad editing, corny jokes and simply not knowing what direction it was wanting to head in.
I give it 3 sacrificial lambs out of 10.
The film itself revolves around the premise that Leonardo Da Vinci accidentally discovered a way to turn lead into gold whilst looking for a way to mass produce cheap bronze that he needed in order to build a giant statue of a horse he had been commissioned to make for the Italian noble house of Sforza.
Knowing this invention would probably cause problems, Da Vinci hid the three parts of a crystal required for his gold making machine in some of his artworks.
500 years later, Eddie "Hudson Hawk" Hawkins, a master thief is blackmailed into stealing these artworks by a conglomerate of groups consisting of a small time mafia family, a rogue C.I.A spec ops unit, the Vatican's secret service and a disgustingly rich married couple called Darwin and Minerva Mayflower.
Now, ill be honest, this film is AWFUL, which reflected in its reviews at the time of its release, and subsequent poor box office and home video performance, however, in recent years Hudson Hawk has become something of a cult hit, due to its pseudo religious steam/clockworkpunk-esque leanings, as well as its rather bizarre and unholy amalgamation of cartoon-esque violence, farcical comedy and over the top action.
There are a few running gags that occur throughout the film, first and foremost is Hawks inability to enjoy a cup of cappuccino, which was first on his "to do" list after he got released from prison, but every time he manages to get his hands on one, it ends up being ruined by one means or another.
The second major running gag in the film is Grant and Bernhards portrayal of the comic book villains of the piece, the Mayflowers. This married villain team are so ridiculously over the top that scenes with them in end up being both painful to watch but also horrendously unintentionally funny.
The third major running gag is Hawks budding relationship with the Vatican secret agent Anna Baragli (MacDowell), whom everyone other than Hawk himself knows is a nun, and thus not really able to enter into a relationship with anyone.
The actual film itself doesnt seem to be able to decide whether it wants to be a family movie or an adult oriented action movie. Co-written by Willis himself, the film features many scenes of cartoony violence, which would make it an ideal family movie, however it then goes on to feature scenes with a lot of swearing and scenes of a sexual nature, as well as some scenes which would be considered too violent for the average child, even back in 1991 when it was released.
These two things combined confused audiences and critics alike, one minute you were seeing Willis engaging in a farcical fistfight with someone, the next he was telling someone that they were "motherfuckers" before blowing them up with a bomb, its almost as if Willis' contribution to the screenplay was simply handing the scriptwriters a copy of the shooting script for "Die Hard 2" (which he had just recently starred in) and told them to use that as inspiration.
Bad editing also has a lot to answer for, as many of the scenes lurch uncomfortably from one to another, which often creates plot holes or bizarre non-sequiturs (possibly an attempt to keep up the "comic book" tone of the film). Elements of exposition seemed to be trimmed down or rushed through in order to maintain a "fast paced" filming style.
To sum up, "Hudson Hawk" is a bad film simply because it watches like an ego trip on Willis's part, with Willis himself not really putting in much of an effort to make Hawk an interestign character outisde of his occasional foul mouthed outbursts or smug satisfaction when he pulls off a job, and then there's the musical numbers...oh god the musical numbers....a recurring theme is that Hawk and his partner in crime Tommy "five-tone" Messina sing songs in order to keep time when performing jobs. This was a gag worked in basically to add something to what would be normally tedious scenes of them breaking into buildings or performing tasks required to set up the theft of something, but instead it just makes for uncomfortable viewing as they both give away their positions and/or reach a crescendo duet at the climax of a job, oh, and most of these duets were featured on the films soundtrack album to boot, not that anyone of sound mind bought it.
One final word, the religious aspect of this film is encompassed totally by the Vaticans self interest in preventing anyone from stealing art treasures from its vaults, cue lots of mumblings about God not approving and so on.
Yeah, Hudson Hawk, a good idea, ruined by egotism, bad editing, corny jokes and simply not knowing what direction it was wanting to head in.
I give it 3 sacrificial lambs out of 10.
Thursday, 18 July 2013
God Only Knows!:- The "Left Behind" Trilogy (2000 - 2005)
Why am I sullying my eyes with this??....*sighs*...oh well, lets get on with it....
The Left Behind trilogy of films is a series of Christian action movies (yes, you read that right....whoda thunk it?, mind you, at least it makes a change from the usual "supernatural horror" fayre), based on the first two of the bestselling (seriously) series of books written by evangelical christian authors Tim Lalley and Jerry Jenkins (theres 16 books in all, written betwixt 1995 and 2007, guess there must be a big demand for this sort of thing).
Made by Canadian production company "Cloud 10 Productions", a film company specialising in christian movies, the first film enjoyed a cinematic release, although the sequels only managed direct to DVD releases.
The films were all given scathing reviews on their release, described in such terms as "a shambling mess" and "..being full of ridiculous dialogue and hammy acting" and "bargain basement special effects", they even attracted criticism from Christians, as the films, as well as the books they are based on, lean towards anti Catholicism, xenophobia and in some cases, outright racism due to them being presented from the viewpoint that all other religions and alldenominations of Christianity apart from protestant dispensationalist evangelism are inherently evil.
There was also widespread condemnation of the films due to their staunchly US/Israel centric political message, as well as pandering to "illuminati-esque/New World Order" conspiracy theorists.
Evangelical christian apologist Kirk Cameron stars as Cameron "Buck" Williams, an intrepid reporter who earned the nickname "Buck" due to his tendency to "buck the conventions" of reporters keeping themselves out of harms way. Over the course of the films, Buck goes from being agnostic/atheist to becoming a born again christian after witnessing the "rapture" event and the beginning of the "tribulation". He later becomes a founding member of the "Tribulation Force", a group of christian preachers determined to convert as many people to christianity in order for their souls to be allowed into heaven after the final battle between Jesus and the antichrist.
Plot Synopsies:
Left Behind: The Movie (2000)
"Buck" Cameron is filming a story in Israel when a ridiculously massive ground and air attack force launches an all out attack on Jerusalem from across the Syrian border. As he rushes out into the maelstrom with his camera to film a live report, all the attacking enemy aircraft begin exploding and falling from the sky, despite the Israeli defence forces being completely taken by surprise and unable to make any kind of counter attack.
Later, as he flies to London, the Rapture event takes place and one third of the earths adult population (mostly nice, white protestant christians by the way) and all of the worlds children simply vanish, causing much concern and calamity worldwide.
In the Chaos, a Romainian politician, Nicolae Carpathia (oh yeah cos like thats not a reference to Dracula right?) is elected to the position of Secretary-General of the United Nations, and, building on his previous efforts to unite Europe under one flag, he proceeds to do the same with the rest of the world.
Meanwhile, Buck has learned of a secret multi national plan to rebuild the temple of Solomon in Jerusalem, the completion of which would mark the second coming of Jesus, because as it turns out, everything that has happened thus far is in fact a sign of the end times, as foretold in the bible.
Upon learning this, and learning that Mr. Carpathia is in fact the antichrist, who has come to bring about seven years of tribulation upon those not deemed worthy of entry to heaven, Buck becomes a born again christian, and alongside his love interest and a few other people, including a formerly faithless preacher, forms the "Tribulation Force", A group of militant evangelical preachers who are determined to save those who were not deemed worthy to enter heaven by God during the rapture by converting them to christianity.
Left Behind 2: Tribulation Force (2002)
One week has passed since the rapture event, and the world has descended into chaos.
Most of the US is under martial law due to wide scale rioting and looting, and the suicide rate has increased dramatically.
Over the course of this film, Buck manages to infiltrate the antichrists organisation using his position as a well respected journalist to work his way into Carpathias confidence, where he learns more about his plans for world domination.
The "Trib Force" works in secret to promote christian worship amongst the remaining peoples of earth by distributing bibles and giving sermons telling the truth about Carpathia, their cause is given a boost through the assistance of a Jewish holy man named Ben-Judah.
The film climaxes with both Carpathia and Ben-Judah giving sermons to the world at Temple mount in Israel, however as Carpathia tries to interfere with Ben-Judahs sermon, Buck stops him by damaging his jamming equipment.
Left Behind 3: World at War (2005)
18 months have passed since Ben-Judahs sermon on the mount, and Carpathia has consolidated his power and created the "Global Community" as a successor to the United Nations, with himself as "Supreme Potentate".
The Trib force has continued working in secret to oppose his rule, but they are powerless to prevent the start of world war 3, which had been engineered by the Antichrist in order to cleanse the world of any remaining threats to his power.
To try and put a stop to this, the Trib force attempts to assassinate Nicolae Carpathia, however his position as Antichrist prevents any of their attempts to kill him from succeeding.
The film ends with the GC building lying in ruins, and Carpathia walking away from it completely unharmed.
As "Action films", the Left Behind trilogy is pretty bad, mostly hampered by low budget effects, but as films in general, the whole trilogy is an unholy triumvirate of horrible acting, plot holes, convenient events and many, many cringe worthy scenes, mostly involving peoples conversions to christianity, especially Bucks conversion, which takes place in a toilet as he sits on the floor sobbing and begins begging for divine guidance, which he gets simply by looking in a mirror.
I cant say i recommend these films in any way, shape or form, and thats not me talking as an atheist, thats me talking as someone who likes to actually be entertained by media, as opposed to actually feeling physical pain induced by having faeces forcefully rammed into my eyes and ears.
The worst thing about these films is that quite literally the entire plot development simply revolves around random events that the main protagonists react to, and then credit it to God in their self righteous smug manner.
You can also tell that Kirk Cameron felt a lot more comfortable in his role after his characters toilet conversion, as it allowed him to extrude his normal air of smugness like what he usually does whenever he and his chum Ray comfort appear on TV together to preach the good word and make bizarre and highly dubious claims about bananas.
I must say though, that actor Gordon Currie's portrayal of the Antichrist is a real pleasure to watch, as he makes the character really feel like the supremely evil Machiavellian villain that he is supposed to be , albeit one with supernatural powers.
All in all, the Left Behind movies feel like little more than a series of low budget TV movies, if you're a bit of a masochist you could watch them, but don't be expecting to get much by way of enjoyment out of them.
I give them 3 out of 10 sacrificial lambs.
The Left Behind trilogy of films is a series of Christian action movies (yes, you read that right....whoda thunk it?, mind you, at least it makes a change from the usual "supernatural horror" fayre), based on the first two of the bestselling (seriously) series of books written by evangelical christian authors Tim Lalley and Jerry Jenkins (theres 16 books in all, written betwixt 1995 and 2007, guess there must be a big demand for this sort of thing).
Made by Canadian production company "Cloud 10 Productions", a film company specialising in christian movies, the first film enjoyed a cinematic release, although the sequels only managed direct to DVD releases.
The films were all given scathing reviews on their release, described in such terms as "a shambling mess" and "..being full of ridiculous dialogue and hammy acting" and "bargain basement special effects", they even attracted criticism from Christians, as the films, as well as the books they are based on, lean towards anti Catholicism, xenophobia and in some cases, outright racism due to them being presented from the viewpoint that all other religions and alldenominations of Christianity apart from protestant dispensationalist evangelism are inherently evil.
There was also widespread condemnation of the films due to their staunchly US/Israel centric political message, as well as pandering to "illuminati-esque/New World Order" conspiracy theorists.
Evangelical christian apologist Kirk Cameron stars as Cameron "Buck" Williams, an intrepid reporter who earned the nickname "Buck" due to his tendency to "buck the conventions" of reporters keeping themselves out of harms way. Over the course of the films, Buck goes from being agnostic/atheist to becoming a born again christian after witnessing the "rapture" event and the beginning of the "tribulation". He later becomes a founding member of the "Tribulation Force", a group of christian preachers determined to convert as many people to christianity in order for their souls to be allowed into heaven after the final battle between Jesus and the antichrist.
Plot Synopsies:
Left Behind: The Movie (2000)
"Buck" Cameron is filming a story in Israel when a ridiculously massive ground and air attack force launches an all out attack on Jerusalem from across the Syrian border. As he rushes out into the maelstrom with his camera to film a live report, all the attacking enemy aircraft begin exploding and falling from the sky, despite the Israeli defence forces being completely taken by surprise and unable to make any kind of counter attack.
Later, as he flies to London, the Rapture event takes place and one third of the earths adult population (mostly nice, white protestant christians by the way) and all of the worlds children simply vanish, causing much concern and calamity worldwide.
In the Chaos, a Romainian politician, Nicolae Carpathia (oh yeah cos like thats not a reference to Dracula right?) is elected to the position of Secretary-General of the United Nations, and, building on his previous efforts to unite Europe under one flag, he proceeds to do the same with the rest of the world.
Meanwhile, Buck has learned of a secret multi national plan to rebuild the temple of Solomon in Jerusalem, the completion of which would mark the second coming of Jesus, because as it turns out, everything that has happened thus far is in fact a sign of the end times, as foretold in the bible.
Upon learning this, and learning that Mr. Carpathia is in fact the antichrist, who has come to bring about seven years of tribulation upon those not deemed worthy of entry to heaven, Buck becomes a born again christian, and alongside his love interest and a few other people, including a formerly faithless preacher, forms the "Tribulation Force", A group of militant evangelical preachers who are determined to save those who were not deemed worthy to enter heaven by God during the rapture by converting them to christianity.
Left Behind 2: Tribulation Force (2002)
One week has passed since the rapture event, and the world has descended into chaos.
Most of the US is under martial law due to wide scale rioting and looting, and the suicide rate has increased dramatically.
Over the course of this film, Buck manages to infiltrate the antichrists organisation using his position as a well respected journalist to work his way into Carpathias confidence, where he learns more about his plans for world domination.
The "Trib Force" works in secret to promote christian worship amongst the remaining peoples of earth by distributing bibles and giving sermons telling the truth about Carpathia, their cause is given a boost through the assistance of a Jewish holy man named Ben-Judah.
The film climaxes with both Carpathia and Ben-Judah giving sermons to the world at Temple mount in Israel, however as Carpathia tries to interfere with Ben-Judahs sermon, Buck stops him by damaging his jamming equipment.
Left Behind 3: World at War (2005)
18 months have passed since Ben-Judahs sermon on the mount, and Carpathia has consolidated his power and created the "Global Community" as a successor to the United Nations, with himself as "Supreme Potentate".
The Trib force has continued working in secret to oppose his rule, but they are powerless to prevent the start of world war 3, which had been engineered by the Antichrist in order to cleanse the world of any remaining threats to his power.
To try and put a stop to this, the Trib force attempts to assassinate Nicolae Carpathia, however his position as Antichrist prevents any of their attempts to kill him from succeeding.
The film ends with the GC building lying in ruins, and Carpathia walking away from it completely unharmed.
As "Action films", the Left Behind trilogy is pretty bad, mostly hampered by low budget effects, but as films in general, the whole trilogy is an unholy triumvirate of horrible acting, plot holes, convenient events and many, many cringe worthy scenes, mostly involving peoples conversions to christianity, especially Bucks conversion, which takes place in a toilet as he sits on the floor sobbing and begins begging for divine guidance, which he gets simply by looking in a mirror.
I cant say i recommend these films in any way, shape or form, and thats not me talking as an atheist, thats me talking as someone who likes to actually be entertained by media, as opposed to actually feeling physical pain induced by having faeces forcefully rammed into my eyes and ears.
The worst thing about these films is that quite literally the entire plot development simply revolves around random events that the main protagonists react to, and then credit it to God in their self righteous smug manner.
You can also tell that Kirk Cameron felt a lot more comfortable in his role after his characters toilet conversion, as it allowed him to extrude his normal air of smugness like what he usually does whenever he and his chum Ray comfort appear on TV together to preach the good word and make bizarre and highly dubious claims about bananas.
I must say though, that actor Gordon Currie's portrayal of the Antichrist is a real pleasure to watch, as he makes the character really feel like the supremely evil Machiavellian villain that he is supposed to be , albeit one with supernatural powers.
All in all, the Left Behind movies feel like little more than a series of low budget TV movies, if you're a bit of a masochist you could watch them, but don't be expecting to get much by way of enjoyment out of them.
I give them 3 out of 10 sacrificial lambs.
Tuesday, 16 July 2013
Dystopiarama! 2 - Fahrenheit 451 (1966)
Fahrenheit 451 is a 1966 film based on Ray Bradburys 1953 dystopian sci-fi novel of the same name.
The film, although not a direct translation of the book, manages to take the storyline as a whole and improve on it in some places.
One particularly clever bit of cinematography is that at no point during the film, other than the occasional glimpses of books found by the firemen, do you see anything in written form, even the films titles and credits are spoken by an off screen narrator, and on the odd occasion where any of the characters read from books, they always speak the words out loud.
Set in an unspecified future time (which looks remarkably like what people in the 60s view of what the world would look like in the 21st century, with futuristic monorail trains being there alongside big clunky 60s pieces of electronic equipment) the film stars German actor Oskar Werner in the role of Guy Montag, a "Fireman" who unlike the fire fighters (theres no political correctness in this future time either...thank fuck) of today, actually start fires rather than put them out.
You see, in this bizarre pseudo futuristic world of tomorrow, all books and forms of written communication have been outlawed by a oppressive government, simply because they can be used to promote ideas about rebellion or contain information which in contrary to the carefully crafted propaganda and revisionist history they allow.
For entertainment, the state actively encourages people to watch mind numbingly banal television programs, inviting friends round to watch TV together, not only that but the people are allowed access to a staggering array of harmful recreational drugs, many of which they don't even know the names for, simply referring to them by the colour the tablets are.
Guy is quite happy in his job, and his station master has him tipped for promotion because he has been doing such a good job in burning books and rooting out people who collect and preserve illegal libraries, however all this contentedness gets turned on its head when one day whilst riding the train home from work he strikes up a conversation with Clarisse, a young woman who bears a striking resemblance to his wife (Julie Christie in a dual role), except that unlike his wife, Clarisse actually has the zest of life about her, where his wife is content to just laze around their home all day watching TV and taking various drugs.
After a few conversations with her, Clarisse asks Guy about his opinion on books, which at first he dismisses as being "just so much rubbish that we don't need any more", but he soon becomes curious, and from that point on he finds himself keeping one or two books whenever he finds any while he is at work, but he finally comes to love the written word when he sees a woman immolate herself after he and his fire crew raid her home and find it packed to the rafters with illegal reading materials, thus he begins to lose interest in his boring life and begins expanding his mind by reading various pieces of philosophy, poetry and fiction.
As I said, the film is very cleverly made, and uses familiar cinematic techniques in new and bizarre ways, such as rewinding the film so the firemen slide UP the fireman's pole instead of down it, which would normally look silly but for some reason in this film it works so well with the bizarre and surreal world the film creates.
They would never be able to make a film like this now, simply because it would quickly degenerate into a series of CGI explosions and hidden messages about terrorism, and Guy Montag, would be some sort of confused emo-esque character with some defining element of tragedy tacked into his back story, rather than the quiet unassuming man he is as played by Werner.
This is a very, very good film which contains a lot of commentary which is still relevant today about such matters as the "dumbing down" of western culture, the almost militant rise of anti-intellectualism in recent years and the problems with simply obeying what someone else says without question.
The film, although not a direct translation of the book, manages to take the storyline as a whole and improve on it in some places.
One particularly clever bit of cinematography is that at no point during the film, other than the occasional glimpses of books found by the firemen, do you see anything in written form, even the films titles and credits are spoken by an off screen narrator, and on the odd occasion where any of the characters read from books, they always speak the words out loud.
Set in an unspecified future time (which looks remarkably like what people in the 60s view of what the world would look like in the 21st century, with futuristic monorail trains being there alongside big clunky 60s pieces of electronic equipment) the film stars German actor Oskar Werner in the role of Guy Montag, a "Fireman" who unlike the fire fighters (theres no political correctness in this future time either...thank fuck) of today, actually start fires rather than put them out.
You see, in this bizarre pseudo futuristic world of tomorrow, all books and forms of written communication have been outlawed by a oppressive government, simply because they can be used to promote ideas about rebellion or contain information which in contrary to the carefully crafted propaganda and revisionist history they allow.
For entertainment, the state actively encourages people to watch mind numbingly banal television programs, inviting friends round to watch TV together, not only that but the people are allowed access to a staggering array of harmful recreational drugs, many of which they don't even know the names for, simply referring to them by the colour the tablets are.
Guy is quite happy in his job, and his station master has him tipped for promotion because he has been doing such a good job in burning books and rooting out people who collect and preserve illegal libraries, however all this contentedness gets turned on its head when one day whilst riding the train home from work he strikes up a conversation with Clarisse, a young woman who bears a striking resemblance to his wife (Julie Christie in a dual role), except that unlike his wife, Clarisse actually has the zest of life about her, where his wife is content to just laze around their home all day watching TV and taking various drugs.
After a few conversations with her, Clarisse asks Guy about his opinion on books, which at first he dismisses as being "just so much rubbish that we don't need any more", but he soon becomes curious, and from that point on he finds himself keeping one or two books whenever he finds any while he is at work, but he finally comes to love the written word when he sees a woman immolate herself after he and his fire crew raid her home and find it packed to the rafters with illegal reading materials, thus he begins to lose interest in his boring life and begins expanding his mind by reading various pieces of philosophy, poetry and fiction.
As I said, the film is very cleverly made, and uses familiar cinematic techniques in new and bizarre ways, such as rewinding the film so the firemen slide UP the fireman's pole instead of down it, which would normally look silly but for some reason in this film it works so well with the bizarre and surreal world the film creates.
They would never be able to make a film like this now, simply because it would quickly degenerate into a series of CGI explosions and hidden messages about terrorism, and Guy Montag, would be some sort of confused emo-esque character with some defining element of tragedy tacked into his back story, rather than the quiet unassuming man he is as played by Werner.
This is a very, very good film which contains a lot of commentary which is still relevant today about such matters as the "dumbing down" of western culture, the almost militant rise of anti-intellectualism in recent years and the problems with simply obeying what someone else says without question.
God Only Knows!:- Constantine (2005)
Constantine is a 2005 supernatural horror flick based on the popular DC/Vertigo comic "Hellblazer".
Centred around the exploits of the demon hunter/exorcist John Constantine, the film tells the story of a plot by supernatural beings to bring about the end of the world or something along those lines (the story itself is actually based on a few different story arcs from the comic which have been amalgamated together to form a new but similar plot line).
Keanu Reeves, still basking in his post Matrix glory, stars as Constantine himself, bringing to the role his usual wooden performance style which oddly enough seems to fit this role somewhat well, being as that Constantine is a bit standoffish with anyone he meets and always operates according to his own agenda.
Shia LeBeouf provides some sidekick action in the form of Chas Kramer, and once again old Shia manages to play him in the exact same way he has played every other character he has ever been cast as, namely as a goofy pseudo-teenager with a bag full of wisecracks and over the top over reactions to things (but hey,the kids can relate to that!- KER-CHING!).
Tilda Swinton does her usual aloof performance in the role of Gabriel, an androgynous half demon/angel whose only real role in the plot is to basically be a complete asshole (and show the world her hideous bunions).
Rachel Weisz manages to cram in TWO roles in this film, firstly as Isabella, a devout catholic woman incarcerated in a mental hospital because she hears voices and sees things (SPOILER - she dies right at the beginning) and secondly as Angela, Isabelles twin sister and a hard nosed bible thumping cop who eventually ends up being both a love interest (That ones for the girls, cos you gots to make it a date movie) and a third leg in Constantines attempts to destroy all evil.
Yeah, its not sounding good thus far is it?, well, oddly enough, I do actually like this film, mainly because the story is quite entertaining once you get into it. There are other characters in the film, including a memorable and brilliantly acted appearance by Peter Stromare as Satan, but other than that all the secondary characters end up falling straight into the category of "exposition generators" or "cannon fodder" (mostly cannon fodder).
The plot itself is the usual "Good v Evil" type affair, but given the modern slant in which none of the characters fit into the usual "hero" or "villain" archetypes because as we all know, everyone has feels and wants to be hugged/get on better with their parents/wants to get laid etc...
Constantine spends the entire film trying to unravel a plot by a mysterious supernatural being who intends to bring about hell on earth by breaking "the rules" (an agreement set up between God and Satan which expressly forbid supernatural beings from direct interference in human affairs, you know, because he works in mysterious ways and all that shit) and directly influencing events which will lead to a doorway to hell being opened allowing the demon armies of hell to pour forth on to the earth and do horrid things to humans and so on.
Curiously enough, although Satan gets off his rotund red backside and makes an appearance in the plot, the almighty himself phones his contribution in (our God is an awesome God!...*sigh*, although apologists would probably say that as God is perfect, he refuses to break the rules of engagement, the theocractical arguments against that pertaining to this work of celluloid fiction are a discussion for another time).
So to sum up, Constantine is not very good on the first watch, as the intertwining plot lines can make for some difficulty in enjoyment, however on subsequent watches the film starts to grow on you, and not in a bad way because at heart is is nothing more than a simple but enjoyable enough action film with some religious elements thrown in to make the story more interesting and relatable.
One thing i will note of this film though, and this also applies to most films with religious overtones that are set in the modern age, is that they all seem to assume that Catholicism is the only interpretation of Christianity worth a damn...jus sayin' :)
I give it 7 out of 10 sacrificial lambs.
Centred around the exploits of the demon hunter/exorcist John Constantine, the film tells the story of a plot by supernatural beings to bring about the end of the world or something along those lines (the story itself is actually based on a few different story arcs from the comic which have been amalgamated together to form a new but similar plot line).
Keanu Reeves, still basking in his post Matrix glory, stars as Constantine himself, bringing to the role his usual wooden performance style which oddly enough seems to fit this role somewhat well, being as that Constantine is a bit standoffish with anyone he meets and always operates according to his own agenda.
Shia LeBeouf provides some sidekick action in the form of Chas Kramer, and once again old Shia manages to play him in the exact same way he has played every other character he has ever been cast as, namely as a goofy pseudo-teenager with a bag full of wisecracks and over the top over reactions to things (but hey,the kids can relate to that!- KER-CHING!).
Tilda Swinton does her usual aloof performance in the role of Gabriel, an androgynous half demon/angel whose only real role in the plot is to basically be a complete asshole (and show the world her hideous bunions).
Rachel Weisz manages to cram in TWO roles in this film, firstly as Isabella, a devout catholic woman incarcerated in a mental hospital because she hears voices and sees things (SPOILER - she dies right at the beginning) and secondly as Angela, Isabelles twin sister and a hard nosed bible thumping cop who eventually ends up being both a love interest (That ones for the girls, cos you gots to make it a date movie) and a third leg in Constantines attempts to destroy all evil.
Yeah, its not sounding good thus far is it?, well, oddly enough, I do actually like this film, mainly because the story is quite entertaining once you get into it. There are other characters in the film, including a memorable and brilliantly acted appearance by Peter Stromare as Satan, but other than that all the secondary characters end up falling straight into the category of "exposition generators" or "cannon fodder" (mostly cannon fodder).
The plot itself is the usual "Good v Evil" type affair, but given the modern slant in which none of the characters fit into the usual "hero" or "villain" archetypes because as we all know, everyone has feels and wants to be hugged/get on better with their parents/wants to get laid etc...
Constantine spends the entire film trying to unravel a plot by a mysterious supernatural being who intends to bring about hell on earth by breaking "the rules" (an agreement set up between God and Satan which expressly forbid supernatural beings from direct interference in human affairs, you know, because he works in mysterious ways and all that shit) and directly influencing events which will lead to a doorway to hell being opened allowing the demon armies of hell to pour forth on to the earth and do horrid things to humans and so on.
Curiously enough, although Satan gets off his rotund red backside and makes an appearance in the plot, the almighty himself phones his contribution in (our God is an awesome God!...*sigh*, although apologists would probably say that as God is perfect, he refuses to break the rules of engagement, the theocractical arguments against that pertaining to this work of celluloid fiction are a discussion for another time).
So to sum up, Constantine is not very good on the first watch, as the intertwining plot lines can make for some difficulty in enjoyment, however on subsequent watches the film starts to grow on you, and not in a bad way because at heart is is nothing more than a simple but enjoyable enough action film with some religious elements thrown in to make the story more interesting and relatable.
One thing i will note of this film though, and this also applies to most films with religious overtones that are set in the modern age, is that they all seem to assume that Catholicism is the only interpretation of Christianity worth a damn...jus sayin' :)
I give it 7 out of 10 sacrificial lambs.
Monday, 15 July 2013
God Only Knows!:- Rosemary's Baby (1968)
Rosemary's Baby is a 1968 film based off of the book of the same name which was published in 1967.
A Horror/Mystery film at heart (its surprising how most films with a religious theme tend to fall in to either mystery, horror , or a combination of the two catagories) , the story of an ordinary young married couple just starting out in life takes a few rather sinister twists as the plot advances, culminating in a rather disturbing and not terribly happy ending.
Mia Farrow stars as Rosemary Woodhouse, a pretty but somewhat naive young woman who alongside her husband, moves into an apartment block in downtown New York.
Rosemary's husband, Guy (played by John Cassavetes) is a struggling young actor who is waiting for his big break, and thus as a couple they don't really have much money between them, but, they decide to settle down and start a family nonetheless.
The other residents of the apartment block, mostly elderly couples, seem to take great delight in having the young couple living there, and busy themselves with "helping" the newlyweds out in any way they can, which annoys Rosemary as she sees their help as interference. Guy dismisses her concerns and says that the old folk are just being friendly, and points out that in all fairness, they could use the help.
Things take a strange turn when not long after Guy finally gets his break by securing a part in a big budget Broadway production. On the night that Guy and Rosemary attempt to conceive the baby that they had planned for, Rosemary has a vivid dream in which she finds herself being raped by a horrifying monster. She wakes up screaming but Guy manages to calm her down.
Not long after, Rosemary finds that she is pregnant, and once again, the elderly residents clamour round to provide assistance by giving her "vitamin drinks" and advice about coping with pregnancy, and, although she initially follows their advice, she begins to get worried when she starts feeling ill so on the advice of her doctor, she stops taking any of the vitamins etc that the elderly folk give her, although things suddenly begin to get more sinister when Rosemary's doctor dies in mysterious circumstances and is replaced by a doctor who advises her the exact opposite of the previous one.
Rosemary eventually gives birth but unfortunately for her, the baby is far from what she was expecting....
Mia Farrow delivers a brilliant performance as the young and naive Rosemary, and it is a pleasure to see her character rapidly learn the harsh truths of the world that surrounds her.
The other characters of the film, who are pretty much nothing but interchangeable support characters, John Cassavetes included, provide the much needed and numerous "prods" required to advance the story, although special mention has to go to the characters of Minnie and Roman Castavete, whose eccentric performances bely their sinister motives throughout the piece.
To sum up, Rosemary's Baby is a finely crafted piece of film which has often been imitated but rarely bettered, and although both the original book and this film did spawn sequels, none of them were as popular or as well liked as the original.
I give this film 9 sacrificial lambs out of 10
Sunday, 14 July 2013
God Only Knows!:- "The Sin Eater" (2003)
Kicking off a short season of films with a religious theme:-
"The Sin Eater" , also released under the rather ambiguous title "The Order", Is a 2003 Religious/Mystery/Horror film Starring the late Heath Ledger, Peter Weller, Mark Addy and a slew of other people, none of which Ive ever heard of.
The film itself is strangely categorised as a "mystery-horror" type film, although I'm not quite sure where the horror element comes into it, and as for the mystery portion, well, its not a very good or surprising one is all I'm going to say, just to spare those of you that haven't seen it from moaning about spoilers.
The plot is fairly simplistic, a young priest from a dying priestly order which concerns itself with banishing ghosts, demons and other such things that the Catholic Church now considers embarrassing finds that his mentor and surrogate father figure has died under mysterious circumstances, and during the course of his investigations, he finds out that a conspiracy involving the upper echelons of the holy see has a lot to answer for, especially when he runs across something thought only to exist in times past turns up in the 21st century.
Heath Ledger stars as Alex Bernier, the principal character of the piece , and he pulls it off quite well, sure, Alex ain't no Joker, but at this point in his career, old Heath hadn't really been in too many films, much less where he was the headliner.
Peter Weller puts in a good performance as the enigmatic Cardinal Driscoll, proving that even though he generally doesn't appear in many films, he can still deliver a good performance.
Mark Addy provides a good effort as Alex's sidekick, the Irish priest "Thomas Garrett", although for some really odd reason the scriptwriters decided to permeate his dialogue with the phrase "spaghetti-O", which although intended to act as a friendly nickname for Alex, instead ends up just being annoying and sticking out like a sore thumb.
The storyline, to me at least, seems to be a little rushed in places, but does manage to remain coherent enough so that you don't get lost along the way, although some elements of plot development seem to be a bit extraneous, for example the exposition about Mara's background, seem like they are leftovers from an earlier and much more ambitious script draft that were somehow missed when the dialogue was being trimmed down.
Dialogue wise, some of the scenes, particularly ones featuring the character Mara, are very wooden, its clear that Ledger and the actress playing Mara didn't have much chemistry as they exchange pieces of romantic speech in a very awkward manner.
For what it is though, "The Sin Eater" isn't a bad film, but its by no means a good one. At the box office it performed badly, and reviews of it generally tend towards the middling, its only real point of notoriety came from complaints received by 20th Century Fox about its content and depiction of the Catholic Church.
I give it 7 out of 10 sacrificial lambs.
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