Gaming Review:- Star Trek Attack Wing OP "The Collective" - Month 3, plus overall thoughts.

Ahhhh, after nearly four months since it started (Feels longer) The final step in the "Collective" campaign is upon me/us.

As per the usual format for STAW OP events, the days play consists of 3 rounds.
This month, the battle is themed around the Battle of Sector 001, as featured in "Star Trek: First Contact", as well as the other Battle for Sector 001 that featured in "Best of Both Worlds - Part 2" (nice going WizKids, way to show you understand the source material).


The Fleet Build.

According to the scenario pack, the "90+30" fleet build should be the done thing, however, due to some sort of complete fuck up by the UK distributor of STAW products, there were no bricks of random booster packs left, so therefore for this event we went with a simple "120 point fleet" build.

Once again, I played my tried and tested Federation "torpedo spam" fleet.

The Scenario.

Following on from Month #2, the Cube has managed to reach Earth, and the allied fleets of both players meet it as it makes its final attack run on the home of the United Federation of Planets.

In a similar play style to Month #2, players are expected to work together to stop the Cube from leaving the play area by battering it for as much damage as it they possibly can before either both players fleets get junked, or before time runs out.
However, in a twist to last months immobile "pillbox" Cube, this months Cube moves and can deliver devastating attacks on both players fleets, however, this time round the Cube can be destroyed, simply by inflicting 25 damage points on it.
The Game does not end there though, because when that final point of damage is scored, the Cube shoots out a hidden Sphere, which moves in a straight line as fast as it can towards the farthest table edge, and also, should this Sphere exit the play area before the players manage to inflict 15 damage to it, both players automatically lose the game.

One final point...as both the Cube AND the Sphere take damage, they become even more difficult to destroy, as their evade number increases by 2 for each 5 damage they take.

The scenario winner is decided by who inflicted the final point of damage to both the cube and the sphere.

Opinion.

The 3 rounds i played were as follows:-

Federation & Independent/Borg/Klingon Mashup (Loss by Campaign points - See later)
Federation & Borg/Dominion/Romulan Mashup (Loss by Tiebreaker - See later)
Federation & Federation (Win)




Final place - 4th (of 7)
Overall place in campaign - 5th (of 9)

Ok, first and foremost I will say this...Mashups should not be allowed...it makes no sense in the Star Trek universe to have Admiral Kirk supporting Khan in a Borg Soong type ship backed up by Kronos One, Or captain Picard in charge of a Borg scout ship whilst Weyoun and some romulans back him up in a Borg tactical Cube.
A "second edition" rulebook really needs to get STAW back on track as a miniatures game that has a Star Trek feel to it, instead of an exersize in "Mix & Match".
Some of the combos I saw today were quite intriguing and very well thought out, but it made the game feel less "Star Trek" and more "Warhammer 40k 2nd Edition". (As in, it was combinations of overpowered mix & match "wargear", which were never intended to be used together, that decided the game, rather than skill and good tactics)

That said, the game itself was quite enjoyable. At various points during all three games did the action become somewhat intense as the Cube began to resist damage, and then the frantic chase and attacking that followed once it ejected the Sphere.
It was good that finally a game in this campaign seemed to properly encourage teamwork. Month #2 did this to some degree but not as much as this month, as both players had to actively co-ordinate their fleets to ensure that maximum damage got done once the Cube/Sphere started moving.

One of the first things that became apparent was that there really was no need whatsoever to do the usual "secret" movement, being as both players were working together, it made no sense at all to hide your fleet manoeuvres from each other, in addition, although it was well within everyones power to use crew/equipment to disable/stun your opponents ships, this would have been completely detrimental on the whole, the thought of doing so never even entered my mind when I built my fleet, and seemingly everyone else was thinking along the same lines, good.

The fatal flaw in this scenario did not come from the gameplay restrictions, but instead from the victory point award system....

Game #1 was a total military victory for me, as I destroyed the cube, however, in the end I lost, because even though I destroyed the Cube, inflicted heavy damage on the Sphere and ended the game with my fleet completely intact, I lost because I had a lower campaign score against an opponent who had placed in the top 2 for the previous 2 months....Thats bollocks!, especially as he had lost one ship from his fleet.



Game #2 ended in a draw, I destroyed the Cube (again) and my opponent destroyed the Sphere, with both of us having not lost any ships and both of us tied for campaign points, we ended up settling the match via rolling for "Battlestations"...I got 1, they got 2....That is no way to decide a tournament game, may as well have just saved time and rolled for battlestations at the start and saved ourselves the bother of playing.


Game #3 was a decisive victory for me, as I destroyed both the Cube and the Sphere.

It would have been a much better idea to have tracked which player had inflicted the most damage on the Cube/Sphere and then used that as a reference for deciding win/draw/loss, rather than by external campaign points or via random chance, as far as I am concerned, I won all 3 games fair and square, but once again due to STAW grey area rules, I was cheated, although not as badly as I was during month #1.


Overall Thoughts on "The Collective".

Not good I'm afraid, with 2 out of 3 "chapters" being horrendously unbalanced, coupled with rules problems stemming from the fact that the basic rulebook included in the box game set is in sore need of updating, as newer ships/cards are "tacking on" new game rules which don't fully mesh with the "standard" rules, and then finally a points based campaign system which is totally unforgiving, "The Collective" was a good idea but very very poorly executed.

Final score - 4/10

The follow up campaign, called "Resistance is Futile" makes up the remaining 3 months of the 6 month "Borg" themed Storyline/Sales promotion.
I have as yet to decide if I am going to bother with it.

Pilot erroR - TV Pilots that didnt make the cut.

Before a TV channel wants to spend money on something, its usually traditional for the producers to make an initial episode or TV movie which outlines the basic plot and premise of the program.

However, not all of these projects get the green light and make it as far as getting an actual full series commission, due to the fact that they are poorly timed, excessively expensive, or just being plain old crap.

I'm going to have a look at a couple of these pilot shows that were given the thumbs down from the TV people, and give my opinion of them...oh yes.

ReWind (SyFy - 2013)
Its a bit like- The Time Tunnel,Quantum Leap, Sliders

Premise -
After a terrorist group destroys New York with a nuclear bomb, an international team of  scientists and military types assemble to make use of a top secret time travel device to subtly change history so that "bad" events (usually ones that involve mass death and so on, particularly connected to the US) don't happen. However, the time travellers can only spend a short period of time in the past as the time window created by their machine only remains open for a fixed, but random, amount of time, meaning that if they fail to get back to the window, they will be stranded in the past, and, if they fail their mission, they will not be able to try again without causing a temporal paradox!
The team are aided in their efforts by a computer called the "Panopticon", which can fairly accurately predict the outcome of changes made to the past and what their knock on effect will be in the future, however the machine is not always correct.
Finally, the time travellers and their secret base are protected from changes in the time line by a side effect of the time window, so no matter what they do to change the past, they themselves will not be changed.

Plot of Pilot -
After the nuclear destruction of New York, a team travels back in time to 1929 to kill a street punk who spends the majority of his life committing crimes. This punk will eventually kill the wife of the scientist who built the nuclear bomb for the terrorists in a botched mugging attempt, sending the scientist insane, which eventually leads him to build a bomb.
The team are briefed on 1920s culture and language and given era appropriate clothing and equipment, then they step through the portal, being the first humans to attempt time travel.
they are successful in their attempt, but find that time travel is a fairly gut wrenching experience.
Once back in the past, all of the travellers are tempted to alter events to suit their own personal needs, but decide against messing around with their own personal histories.
Back at time travel HQ, the technicians find that after the travellers have departed, the amount of time they have to get back decreases, this, coupled with the fact that the travellers get lost while trying to find the guy they're supposed to kill, and end up nearly getting killed when they have a traffic accident with a moonshine bootlegger.
Just as they think they are going to fail in their mission, they find the man they are supposed to kill, and discover that he is committing crimes in order to provide for his younger sister. They decide against killing him, instead, one of the travellers poses as the mans "guardian angel", and tells him of what will happen if he continues being a criminal. The man heeds the warning and New York is restored, however the travellers run short of time to get back to the time portal, so it becomes a race against time to get back to their starting point, which is made significantly easier by one of the historians remembering that a hidden road used by bootleggers can get them back much quicker.
With seconds to spare, they make it back to the portal, and are relived to see that New York has been restored.
While they celebrate, the military liaison dresses in a winter coat, loads a gun and steps through the portal while no one is looking, which immediately causes New York to disappear again.....

So why did it fail?
While the basic premise of the show was good, the problem was it has all been done before. Both "The Time Tunnel" and "Quantum Leap" covered the whole "time travelling to change things for the better" trope, while "Sliders" covered the whole "a team of people go about alternate Earths correcting wrongs". With such a well trodden concept, and a large budget required to recreate the past, this show, if it ever made it to a full series, would have to have been really popular to justify itself.
The plot of this initial episode is fairly bland and uninteresting, I knew as soon as it was mentioned that they were going to go back in time to kill someone that there would be a reason found for them not to abuse time travel for the purposes of cold blooded murder, and it came as no surprise whatsoever that at the end someone else found a way to use the machine to fiddle around with history and cause a disaster, so as a series, each week the team of travellers would have jaunted through time fixing problems etc etc, exactly like Quantum Leap and Sliders.

Final Score - 4/10

doorways (sic) (1993)
Its a bit like -  Sliders (see later)

 
The Premise-
Our reality is not the only reality in existence, as Dr. Thomas Mason finds out when he stumbles across a young woman named "Cat". Cat has the ability to find and travel through "doorways"(sic) , which are naturally occurring portals that allow anyone stepping through them to travel to an infinite number of alternative realities. Dr. Mason and Cat travel through these portals in an effort to keep one step ahead of "The Dark Lord", an enemy from Cats home reality who relentlessly pursues her.

The Plot -
Dr.Mason MD meets a woman called "Cat", who is on the run from someone she calls "The Dark Lord", who appears to be some sort of demon/alien from her own reality. Cat struggles to convince Dr.Mason that she is telling the truth, both due to the fact that she can barely speak English, and due to the fact that the police and the FBI are wanting to have words with her.
Eventually, Cat proves she is telling the truth by showing Mason a "doorway" to another reality, which they promptly end up falling through after the bad guys catch up with them.
Cat and Dr.Mason visit various different Earths, including one where there are no petrochemicals left and the towns and highways of America are terrorized by gangs of bicycle riding punks.
Cat has a defense against the bad guys though, in the form of a weapon she stole from her own reality, which is a sort of gun that fires explosive flechettes, or, as she describes it "Fwick!...BOOM!".
Dr.Mason faces up to the fact that he wont be returning any time soon, and continues to travel with Cat hoping that they will eventually find a way for him to get back to his own reality, however no matter where they hide, the servants of the Dark Lord are always able to track them down....

Why did it fail?
Despite the series concept being created by George R.R Martin , its timing was completely wrong. The early 90s were not a good time for Sci-Fi offerings, particularly one which was as weak as "doorways" ended up being.
The pilot episode was poorly scripted and acted (With the character Cat pretty much sounding like she suffered from some sort of mental retardation, and Dr.Mason spending most of the time acting like a confused buffoon) and the special effects were of very poor quality (even by early 90s standards), Plus, the series itself would have been expensive, as each week the travellers would have had to visit an alternate Earth, which would have required a lot of money to be spent on costumes, sets and special effects. In the end, with the main characters being thoroughly unlikable, and the premise being a tad on the expensive side, the series was given the thumbs down.
Interestingly enough though, when you watch this pilot, it has many, many, many similarities with "Sliders", which eventually got greenlit 2 years after doorways had been binned. these similarities did not go unnoticed, so much so that George Martin himself had to issue a statement to say that screenwriter Tracy Torme, the creator of "Sliders", had had no involvement with "doorways" bar his agent applying for a job on his behalf as a writer.
Another interesting note is that doorways starred a young Carrie-Ann Moss , Kurtwood Smith and Max Grodenchik , all of whom later went on to find stardom in other projects.

Final Score - 3/10

Gaming Review:- Star Trek Attack Wing OP "The Collective" - Month 2

So, after a few hiccups concerning getting the wrong OP kit sent, thus delaying the event for 2 weeks...finally, just as most places are running month #3 do we get round to doing month #2.

Again, as is the standard format for STAW organised play events, this is a three round tournament based on the infamous "Battle of Wolf-359", as shown in the ST:TNG episode "Best of both Worlds (parts 1&2)" and mentioned numerous times throughout TNG, DS9 and Voyager, as well as the Star Trek movies.


The Fleet Build.

As per the previous month, the fleet points available for this month are the same, 90 points of whatever you want, plus 30 points to be constructed from whatever you find in your random booster pack.
The booster pack ships are identical to last month , with all the major factions being represented in some way, except for the Borg themselves.

The Scenario

Unlike Month #1, this scenario is designed as a co-op type game, as players cannot attack each other, but may attack a single Borg cube, which spends the entire game stationary on one side of the play area, while both players ships deploy on the opposite edge.
Before deployment, both players deploy 3 "debris" tokens (although I spent all day calling them scrap tokens) anywhere on the board so long as they are not within range 1 of the cube or the edge of the deployment area. Players then deploy their ships in ascending command value order.

The objective of this scenario is to inflict as much damage by any means to the Cube (the cube itself cannot be destroyed or affected by any adverse game effects), whilst at the same time ensuring your own ships do not get blown up when the Borg decide to swat you down like flies.
Play continues as normal, however at the end of each turn, the Cube will make a series of attacks, which increase in severity as the number of ships on the board decrease until one hour has passed, or all ships in play are destroyed, whichever happens first.

The scenario winner is decided by which player has inflicted the most damage after the game ends.

Opinion

As the tournament is a co-op scenario, the normal 1v1 type play does not apply, so in the course of three rounds I played the following:-

Round 1 - Federation (me) & "Rogue" Borg/Klingon
Round 2 - Federation & Federation/Romulan
Round 3 - Federation & "Rogue" Borg/Maquis

Final placing - 3rd.

I was quite lucky that my blind booster contained another Sabre class ship, this allowed me to play a "pure" Federation fleet and thus get priority for movement and combat, although it is a shame that the Sabre class ship has numerous flaws in its game impact, such as only having a forward fire arc, and the "vanilla" ship not benefiting from the USS Yeagers awesome ability to continuously fire its photon torpedoes without having to disable them. As this ship is meant to fill the niche in the Federation fleet for a "missile cruiser" it seems odd that Wizkids would hamstring it by requiring you to spend your ships action for the turn on either attaining the target lock you need to fire, or reactivating your torpedoes...an errata for this ship is sorely needed.

Anyways, this months scenario was much more enjoyable, being as that it was not hideously unbalanced in favour of grey area exploiting combos, made worse by having items and crew members nicked off your ships.
The name of the game this month was to bring as much firepower to bear as possible, which anyone can do without the need for owning an extensive number of prize/rare ships and prize/promo crew and equipment cards.

I was rather surprised not to see some Klingon fleets, being as they can usually be counted on to carry some big guns, but alas it seemed that their place had been taken by the Borg tactical cube, with its high firepower and ability to shrug off damage, but at a high cost the Borg players tended to only field a single well equipped cube or a cheap cube with backup from a sphere.

Final Thoughts

A much better scenario all round that allowed for a decent and less frustrating level of play.
The prize for winning (the USS Raven) is a little lackluster but has some decent equipment cards.
The participation freebie in the form of the fleet captain resource is pretty sweet, and certainly has numerous possibilities open to its use.

SEAL Team Six: The Raid on Osama Bin Laden

Everyone knows that Osama Bin Laden was a very naughty man, so naughty in fact that this country called the "United States of America" spent over 10 years tearing up the middle east looking for him, along with help from some of their chums from Europe and Asia.
Eventually, the American types finally figured out that Mr. Bin Laden was hiding out in Pakistan, and not Iraq or Afghanistan (Oops!, all those people dead for nuthin), much to their chagrin being as the Pakistanis were supposed to be Americas chums. So, in order to set things right, they sent in some very angry soldier types to fetch Mr. Bin Laden to see the headmaster for a stern talking to!.

"SEAL Team Six : The Raid on Osama Bin Laden" is a 2012 TV Movie made by National Geographic which serves as both a documentary and a dramatisation of the events leading up to the raid on Osama Bin Ladens hiding place in downtown Abbottabad on a May night in 2011.

The operation, codenamed "Operation Neptune Spear", was carried out by two squads of US Navy SEALs, using two special "stealth" blackhawk helicopters (one of which crashed due to a mechanical error and had to be blown up before the SEALs ex filtrated the area in order to prevent its secrets being looted by some DIRTY FOREIGNERS!1!!!1) in a completely unauthorised incursion into Pakistani airspace.
The films plot shows that over the course of approximately 6 months, the CIA had received various bits of intelligence, both via direct "questioning" (*coughyeahrightcough*) of suspected Al-Qaeda terrorists and via remote observation of Bin Ladens known hangouts and associates.
During this time, the eventual members of SEAL team six are shown being recruited and trained, and at various points they speak to the camera as though giving an interview (This is artistic licence, being as the real identities of the special forces operatives involved in the raid are a closely guarded secret. In total 79 human and 1 canine operatives were involved in the operation).

The film watches like an eclectic mix of a spy movie coupled with an action movie, a bit like a sort of "James Bond lite" type affair, with documentary elements thrown in to fill in the gaps of things that are "Classified".
The quality of acting is pretty good considering that the only people in the film I've ever heard of are Xzibit and Eddie Kaye Thomas , and the film makers go to great lengths to ensure that as many technical details are correct as possible when showing military installations and equipment.
The SEAL team operatives themselves are all military stereotypes, theres a couple of gung-ho patriots, some introspective ones, ones with tragic backgrounds etc, this is to be expected form this kind of film though, especially so being as the real people who took part in the missions identities will probably never be known.

The film does embellish some details, for example, Bin Laden is shown to be carrying an AKSU assault rifle when the SEAL operatives encountered him, when in reality, bin Laden was unarmed at the time of his death although during the examination of the building that was carried out immediately after the operation had ended, both an AKSU rifle and a Makarov pistol were found in the room), the film also does not show that just before bin Ladens death, one of bin Ladens wives was shot as she tried to attack one of the soldiers (the scene instead shows the lead soldier pushing a woman out of the way, with the second soldier to enter the room killing bin Laden).

All in all though, this film is pretty good, much better in fact than Zero Dark Thirty , a film which was released in cinemas in December of 2012 which essentially tells the same story, although with it being a Hollywood film, it embellishes the story a lot and goes more for "general" appeal.

SEAL Team Six is available on DVD and via many streaming media outlets and is a pretty good film if you like military films that concentrate on story rather than pyrotechnic effects and dodgy character building scenes.

Transformers: Age of Extinction (Contains Spoilers)

So, Michael Bay said he wasn't going to do anymore Transformers related stuff after DOTM got fairly negative reviews...but the sweet, sweet money he was offered tempted him back....*face/palm*

"Transformers: Age of Extinction" (aka, Transformers: AoE, Transformers 4, Trans4mers etc) marks the fourth (duh!) outing for the "Bayformers" live action TF movies, which surprised many people as the ending of DOTM pretty much wrapped up the storyline for the Bayformers, you know, what with nearly everyone getting killed off and all that.

The Plot

Set 5 years after the climactic battle which saw Chicago levelled as the Decepticons tried to teleport Cybertron into Earths orbit and then enslave mankind and stuff, coupled with the sudden, but inevitable, betrayal by Sentinel Prime, it seems that humans and Transformers don't get along any more. Although the surviving Autobots are said to have been granted asylum on Earth, and approximately a dozen Decepticons are known to be at large, a secret-ish division of the CIA known as "Cemetery Wind" spends all its time  hunting down and capturing both Autobots and Decepticons (Ratchet and Leadfoot are shown to be both hunted down and killed).
As it turns out though, Cemetery Wind is pretty much just a front for making its commander, Harold Attinger (Kelsey Grammer) a rich man, as he then passes the bodies of the "captured" Transformers on to a megacorporation known as KSI industries where its pompous CEO, Joshua Joyce (played by Stanley Tucci doing a really, really good impression of the late Steve Jobs) then experiments on them in order to develop and manufacture human built "Transforming robots" in order to sell them to the military etc.
HOWEVER!, things go a bit awry when as it turns out, Cemetery Wind and KSI are both in league with an unaligned Transformer named Lockdown, who is on Earth to collect a bounty placed on Optimus Primes head by his "creators" (who, in the opening scenes are shown to have caused the extinction of the dinosaurs by cyberforming parts of Earth in order to mine "Transformium" to build more transformer robots for themselves).

So, Optimus Prime, along with Bumblebee and newcomers Hound, Drift and Crosshairs, as well as their new human chums Cade and Tessa Yeager and Shane (Tessas boyfriend) battle against both the cemetery wind, KSI and Lockdown in order to stop stuff from happening that will probably lead to the extinction of all life on earth and so on.
Oh yeah, KSI has unintentionally rebuilt Megatron (Now called Galvatron, but he isn't a purple repaint) as one of their robot drone weapons and he eventually frees himself from human influence and takes over the army of vehicon drones and causes some trouble.
Oh also, some Dinobots make an appearance towards the end of the film to boost the Autobots numbers.

Ooooooooooooh kaaayyyyyyyyyy.
Ah, yeah, erm........
At nearly 3 hours long AoE, when viewed as just another sci-fi action film isn't too bad, it fulfills all that is required of it in order to be considered a standard Hollywood Blockbuster, and uses the following cliches:-

• MOAR EXPLOSUNZ!!! - Standard trope from any Michael Bay movie, it would be pointless to comment any further on this.
• All Chinese people know kung fu! - yes, there is one "main" character who is Chinese, plus a couple of throwaway Chinese characters that feature during the bit set in Hong Kong, all of them somehow know kung fu...you know, because they're Chinese. Also included is a bit of casual racism as the character played by Li Bingbing is told by Stanley Tuccis character that he cannot understand what she is saying.
• "This is important!/No its not!/That is irrelevant!" - Some characters are introduced and seem to be on their way to being a big player in the storyline...then they either vanish for no reason or are killed. Additionally, some plot avenues open at the beginning, then get ignored/forgotten at the end.
• Carry on regardless! - The Witwickys, N.E.S.T and Agent Simmons, all big characters in the previous three films are gone, and not even mentioned...at all, as though they never existed.
• Maguffin-tastic - "Transformium"...dafuq?
• Object of attraction/Jailbait - Right from the very start, male audience members are directed to find Tessa Yeager attractive, being as she spends nearly the entire film wearing skimpy clothing items and being a damsel in distress. however, despite her make up being applied so that it draws attention to her dialated pupils, flushed skin and red lips (all visual cues for female sexual arousal) we are informed that she is only 17, and thus a minor (according to American standards) so therefore can be looked at but not touched, something which is played upon during the course of the film in an attempt at creating "humourous" dialogue. the other two female leads, played by Sophia Myles and Li Bingbing don't really receive enough screen time to be considered "main" cast members, instead mainly acting as "plot filler-inners".

So, did I like it?

Er, ooh, Id say "like" is far too strong a word. On the whole, the film is yet another example of a throwaway sci-fi action flick that includes characters of which I am familiar with, which was designed and intended to shift merchandise in the form of childrens toys.
The plot is ridiculously weak, and the film watches like a series of action and car chase scenes edited together with some "talky bits" that shovel fairly basic character development at you in big, difficult to digest chunks.
As a lifelong fan of Transformers, it is quite uncomfortable to sit and watch in places, namely the bits where the "new" Transformers are shown transforming simply be disintegrating themselves and then reforming into robot/vehicle mode, and also bits where the Autobots openly discuss killing people because they are a bit pissed off with how they have been treated (although given the storyline, they do have a right to be pissed off).
The ending of the film is as formulaic as they come, with a big battle happening, lots of explosions and death followed by a "happy" although ambiguous ending, thus setting up the plot for "Transformers 5 - We aren't Quintessons, Honest!"

Final score - 5/10 - Impressive SFX but ruined by a crap storyline and the desire to shift merch.

Review - Drawn Together (2004-2007, 2010)

Drawn Together was an animated adult satirical sitcom which aired on Comedy Central between 2004 and 2007, with a feature length direct to DVD movie following in 2010.

The premise of the show was simple, 8 cartoon characters of various types were taking part in a reality TV show for some unspecified purpose, and each episode showed the wacky goings off behind closed doors (or, as the opening credits described it "1 House, 8 Cartoon Characters, 1,000,000 Cameras!").

 Each of the characters involved was a specific archetype, both of the genre of animation, and of the "reality TV star".

Main Characters:-



Captain Hero - A Caricature of "American style" caped superheros, particularly Superman.
Captain Hero, or "Leslie" to his friends is the typical all American straight laced macho type, except that in reality he is a misogynistic, chauvinist, homophobic, hypocritical and sometimes violent bigot. Numerous times during the series he is seen to indulge in many and varied sexual perversions, as well as being something of a closeted homosexual. He is also very childish and prone to temper tantrums and periods of sulking when he doesn't get his own way, he also seems to be completely oblivious the the world around him on occasions, usually whenever he uses (or abuses) any of his super powers. Oddly, Captain Hero is one of the best developed characters in the series, receiving a full and coherent back story as well as proper character development. As a reality TV star, he falls cleanly into the "Macho frat boy" archetype.

Wooldoor Sockbat - A caricature of "wacky" cartoon characters, mostly modelled on Spongebob Squarepants (described in one episode as an "ill conceived Spongebob parody") but also incorporating elements of Looney Toons and Tex Avery type characters (Wooldoor can ignore all natural laws at will etc). Wooldoor is an extremely weird and somewhat childish character who usually ends up being the butt of many jokes, or is generally bullied due to his naivety. However Wooldoor also has the ability to be extremely intelligent on occasion, showing he has abilities as a psychiatrist, a surgeon, a doctor and a scientist (as well as an unwilling lab experiment from time to time). As a reality TV star, he is the "Weird guy".


Princess Clara - An obvious caricature of fairy tale princesses, notably "Disney" princess types.
Outwardly kind and charming, Clara is actually a fundamentalist christian, an anti-semite, a homophobe, a racist and an idiot. Although these traits stem from her sheltered upbringing, it is also implied that she has an incestuous relationship with her father the King. Most of the shows humour from Clara comes from her being blatantly offensive without realising it, but also from how hypocritical she is, usually because she realises she can benefit herself in some way by doing something she condemns others for. As a reality TV star, she fits into the "Sheltered rich girl" archetype.

Foxxy Love - A caricature of "blaxsploitation" type characters, Foxxy is a "mystery solving musician" who was formerly a member of the band "Foxxy 5", who had 1 hit single in the mid 1980s (all other members of the band are also blaxsploitation characters). Foxxy, being black, is frequently on the receiving end of Claras racist outbursts, however Foxxy is also hypersensitive towards anything which could remotely be considered racist (for example she deliberately mishears the word "knickers" as "niggers" during a spelling bee and uses it as an excuse to assault the judges). Other than that, Foxxy typically behaves in a stereotypical "ghetto" manner, speaking in Ebonics and/or jive talk, being sexually promiscuous, stealing anything she can get her hands on etc, however out of all the housemates, Foxxy ends up usually being the most level headed (or as Wooldoor describes her "the least retarded"). As a reality TV star, she is the "Sassy Black Girl".

Xandir - Xandir (full name - Xandir P. Whifflebottom) is a caricature of one dimensional video game characters, most notably "Link" from the "Zelda" series of games. Extremely effete, Xandir says he is "on a never ending quest to save his girlfriend", however in the 3rd episode of series 1, he admits that he is gay and breaks up with her. Xandir is the most placid of the housemates however he does have a tendency to freak out over the most trivial of things. As a reality TV star, Xandir is the "Token gay guy", although in one episode he does admit that he finds Toot attractive (she then forces him to have sex with her numerous times)

Ling-Ling - Ling-Ling is a caricature of Japanese anime characters, mainly pokemon/digimon type creatures, but is also a stereotype of Asians in general. As a "Japanese trading card battle monster" (that bears a strong resemblance to Pikachu) , all Ling-Ling seems to care about is battling other creatures, however when the opportunity to battle does not present itself, he goes about other tasks as though he was in an anime style battle, with accompanying theme tunes and stock backgrounds etc. Ling-Ling, with the exception of one episode, spends the entire series speaking a faux Japanese-esque language, and fulfils other Asian stereotypes such as being unable to drive safely, being good at standardised tests and being a disappointment to his father. As a realty TV star, he is the "Clueless foreigner" who struggles with culture shock.

Toot Braunstein - Toot is a caricature of 1920s era black and white cartoon characters such as Betty Boop. She appears to be a chubby flapper girl in her early 20s, however when seen in close up she is actually hairy, spotty and extremely unattractive to most people. Her "cute" personality masks her true personality, which is that of an extremely unpleasant, attention seeking, foul mouthed, alcoholic, gluttonous antagonist. Toot spends most of her time causing trouble, over eating, drinking and indulging in self harm if things don't go her way. She is also extremely sexually frustrated, being as no one will willingly have intercourse with her, however when they do the experience is usually terrifying for them. As a reality TV star, she is the "attention seeking trouble causer".

Spanky Ham - A caricature of Flash animation characters, Spanky Ham is a poorly drawn anthropomorphic pig who has a foul mouth and an obsession with toilet humour and sex. He has a somewhat abrasive and cynical personality, however he demonstrates numerous times that he has a head for money making making schemes of various legalities. As a reality TV star, he is the "loud mouthed slob".

Although the series uses set characters in an established setting, almost none of the episodes follow any kind of coherent story arc, characters are killed off or delivered a life changing plot line one week, for it all to be completely forgotten the following week. Many episodes also include various non-sequitr scenes as well, usually, but not always, featuring a cameo appearance by a "real" cartoon character (although most of these characters are usually not named or obscured in some way to avoid copyright infringement).
The show also features several running gags, such as the shows poor reviews, Foxxys dislike of the foster care system (its said that she has had several of her own children placed in foster care), Toot being mistaken for a cow/whale/bear etc because of her weight and appearance and so on.

Speaking of the shows reviews, many reviews slated the show for its overuse of stereotypes, obsession with crude humour and bodily functions and for the amount of swearing, nudity and depictions of sex acts (on a strange note, during one episode, Wooldoor explains to the viewer that due to FCC regulations, the viewers may not see Princess Claras vagina, but throughout the show it is permitted for the viewers to see nearly all of the main male characters penises, both flaccid and erect, as well as being able to show the male members masturbating and ejaculating). One review branded the show as being "unfit for children"...which proves that they probably didn't get the fact that the show was intended as an adult satire program simply because it was a cartoon.

Much as I have seen people slate the show for its racist, misogynistic, anti-religious and other general offensive content, what they don't tend to realise is that Drawn together is a wonderfully crafted piece of social satire, having a pop at many different issues per episode and doing them in an extremely entertaining way.
Unfortunately though, the series was cancelled after its 3rd season began airing, which seemed to come unexpectedly to the production team as they admitted via an on screen caption during the final episode of series 3 that this was "the most crappy series finale ever" and that "several lines of dialogue had already been written and recorded and it was too late to change them".
The series ended with all 8 main characters receiving their contract termination notices and walking as a group through a door marked "Unemployment", bringing the series to an end.

In 2010 however, a 65 minute movie, imaginatively titled "The Drawn Together Movie: The Movie!" was released to finish off the series proper with one last attempt by the characters to get the show back on the air.

I really liked this series because the quick witted and deep cutting dark humour is brilliant, but it is also the reason why the show wasn't too popular with the mainstream people, simply because it was "different".

EPis0dIC! - Alien Nation "The Spirit of '95" (Se01E13) 1990

The episode begins with Buck and Susan visiting the campaign headquarters for the "Alien Vote Amendment", which aims to allow newcomers, all of whom have been granted citizenship and indefinite leave to stay in the united States, to have the right to vote.

Both Buck and Susan believe strongly in newcomers right to vote, as does "Wyatt Earp", the newcomer campaign manager and Jesse, the human campaign manager.
Susan and Buck both volunteer to help the cause, and their assistance is welcomed, however both Jesse and Wyatt are more interested in having George, a respected newcomer police officer, speak out on the issue. Although Susan says she cannot promise she can get any assistance form George, Buck is more enthusiastic, however just as Susan begins to feel ill from her ongoing pregnancy, the campaign headquarters has to be evacuated due to a bomb threat, one of several that have happened since the campaign began. Up until now though, all the threats have been hoaxes, but this time round, as everyone waits outside, the building explodes.

Sikes finds he has been voted in to be the chairman of his apartment blocks residents association, much to his displeasure, however he has no time to worry about it as he is called to investigate the bomb. As it turns out, Jesse says that he received a phone call from someone claiming to be a representative of the "United Purist Party", a right wing ultra conservative political movement dedicated to denying newcomers any rights to vote, or indeed, any right to exist as free sentient beings.
George is disgusted that people would go to such lengths to deny people their rights, and reminds Sikes that the countries foundations were based on people standing up for their rights, however Sikes states that matter doesn't interest him, as he generally doesn't vote.
Their investigation is made somewhat easier by the arrival of Max Clay, the head of the UPP, at the station. Max threatens Sikes and George with litigation if they make any statements directly linking the UPP with the terrorist bomb threats, as they have no direct evidence linking the incidents to him or representatives of his party. Max also states that it is the UPPs party line that direct threats and use of violence is neither encouraged or condoned, however as George points out to him, they have, in the past, made carefully veiled threats of violence against newcomers. Max launches into a monologue about how the Bible states that God created man in his image to have dominion over the Earth etc etc, and it is the Purists intention to keep mankind's "destiny" on course by whatever means necessary, even if that includes being violent or inhumane toward newcomers..George swears and leaves in disgust.

Buck is out canvassing with Wyatt while Susan helps Jesse set up the campaign headquarters in the Fransisco house (George isn't terribly pleased by this) however after having a few doors slammed in his face, Buck is shocked when Wyatt is kidnapped off the street, seemingly by some purists, who almost run him over in the process.
George is outraged at this, the second attack on his family that day, and heads over to UPP headquarters to politely "remind" Max Clay that violence can work both ways, and if anyone associated with the UPP attacks or threatens his family ever again, he will personally take care of the matter.
Meanwhile, Sikes is called to the scene of another kidnapping, this time Jesse has been taken off the street by the same vehicle car took Wyatt, however his investigation is cut short when he is called back to the station to receive a reprimand for Georges threatening behaviour towards Max Clay.

Sikes returns home to find he has to sit as chair at a meeting of the residents association, which quickly devolves into an argument between the other residents over whether they should pay $700 for an elderly resident to have a ramp installed on the back door, which apparently Sikes said he would look into at the last meeting, but hasn't because A) he is too busy with his police work and B) he doesn't care. As it turns out though, the weird old lady who has asked for the ramp has lived there since the place was built, brought up 3 children there and her husband died there, so she feels an attachment to the building itself in a way none of the other residents do. As it turns out later, Cathy paid for the ramp to be fitted out of her own pocket.

At the station the next day, Sikes arrives to find George giving an interview to Burns, the stations almost resident hack journalist. Burns is quite happy at George giving some very strong views on the purists, but Sikes steps in and stops him before he says something stupid.
Just then, Wyatt is dumped outside the station, having been badly beaten. Although he says that he does not know where he was taken, he says he knows that Jesse was there with him, and the people who held them, who identified themselves as purists, drew lots over which one of them to release. Unfortunately, Wyatt isn't able to give a description of his captors as he claims he was blindfolded all the time, but then he shocks both Sikes and George by insisting on giving a press conference right there and then to "expose" the treatment the UPP is meting out to newcomers.

With all the clues pointing to UPP involvement in the kidnappings and bombings, Sikes is a little surprised to receive an invitation for him and George to come and see Max Clay at their campaign headquarters. Clay explains that he personally instructed all members of the UPP to not make any violent action against anyone by letter a week before the trouble started, and he also presents Sikes with the proposition that maybe Wyatt and Jesse planned the bombing and kidnapping themselves, as despite the press conference and all the negative press about the UPP, the AVA movements approval ratings have only risen by 14%, as opposed to the expected 25%. George dismisses this notion as laughable, but Sikes sees his point. George asks why Sikes is so cynical about politics, and he explains that several years ago, a lobby group campaigned to outlaw chemical weapons, a motion which was passed through congress and lauded as a step towards the end of the production of weapons of mass destruction, however the money saved on developing, maintaining and building chemical weapons was funnelled straight into the development, maintenance and building of nuclear weapons instead of being used for peaceful means. Sikes says it was this incident which caused him to lose faith in the political system.

A report comes in that the car used in both the kidnappings of Wyatt and Jesse has been spotted, so Sikes and George follow it, only to find Wyatt at the wheel when it pulls up at a cheap motel on the outskirts of town. As it turns out, Wyatt confesses that Jesse planned the bombing and the kidnappings as a way to get free publicity for the AVA and to turn popular opinion against the UPP, however Jesse is ill and called Wyatt to come and take him to the hospital. They enter Jesses room to find that he has been beaten to death.

Now having a murder investigation on their hands, George and Sikes immediately suspect Wyatt, as the tyre iron from his car was used to kill Jesse, but no motive can be found. Sikes calls the phone company and asks for the call records from both Wyatt and Jesses telephones, however he finds that there has already been a wire tap made on both phones, seemingly without any authorisation.
Their investigation leads them to the phone company, where one of the employees there, a staunch purist supporter, had put a tap on the phones at the request of Max Clay, however he denies committing Jesses murder, saying he only told Max Clay where Jesse was when he had called Wyatt to ask him to take him to the hospital.
The vote comes, and the motion to allow newcomers to vote is passed in 32 states, meanwhile, at an investigation committee, the UPPs activities linking them not only to violence towards newcomers, but also to the murder of Jesse are brought to light, and the UPP loses all public credibility as Max Clay repeatedly takes the 5th whenever he is asked about his involvement. The judge ends the proceedings by ordering all the UPPs records to be seized and a full investigation into their activities be carried out.


This is one of the best episodes of the series in my opinion. firstly, it deals in a none too subtle way with the topic of racism in human society, and the efforts of those who use this racist attitude in order to further their own desire for power over others.
Secondly, it also deals with abuses of the political system to allow people to achieve their aims, regardless of the costs.
A very well written episode this be!.