So, yeah, I said i was gonna write about something less depressing, so the first thing I chose was...an apocalypse film......
*ahem*
So, the silly sounding title aside, "Stonehenge Apocalypse" is a made for TV Sci-fi disaster movie which fist aired on the Syfy channel in 2010.
Starring no one of any note or importance, this low/mid budget piece of sci-fi B-list material manages to make use of both pseudo-science, pseudo-archeology AND an "end of days" storyline to produce something which although full of poor acting, cheap CGI effects, plot holes and some inexcusable technical gaffes, is actually highly entertaining.
yes, it is...really.
The plot goes like this:-
An archeological dig in Maine unearths an egyptian tomb, which then causes the stones at Stonehenge to begin moving about and releasing wave after wave of deadly electromagnetic radiation.
A disgraced astrophysics professor, who now presents an internet radio show from his basement hears of this event and travels to Stonehenge to unravel the mystery of the moving stones and in the end manages to validate several of his crackpot theories regarding ancient astronauts, out of place artifacts and several apocalyptic prophecies as foretold by "the ancient writings" (whatever they are, because they are never explicitly referenced).
Cue a rip roaring adventure which sees a group of hippies try to become the only survivors of the end of the world and some military gung ho explosions and machine gun shooting, with a bit of a plot twist which I never saw coming about two thirds of the way through.
Yeah, I liked this film, even though the story is ridiculous and the acting is terrible, but, if you ignore all this and just sit and watch it, this film is entertaining, which is what a film is supposed to be.
I give it 7 crystal skulls out of 10
Monday, 14 October 2013
Friday, 11 October 2013
Aint War Hell? - The Divide (2012)
The Divide is a 2012 sci-fi/psychological thriller type film, dealing with the trials of a group of survivors who hide in a basement to escape a nuclear war.
The film is somewhat different to most "post nuclear" films as it makes no effort to explain how or why the war happened, or indeed how life goes on in the fallout riddled aftermath, instead, the film concentrates on the breakdown of human morality following a harrowing and extremely life changing event.
Although the film gets a little slow in places, which is unsurprising given its subject matter, and lacks any kind of deep meaningful scenes or action packed edge of your seat type bits, the whole aspect of people "going rotten" is well explored and realistically portrayed.
The film itself also doesn't make use of "A-list" actors in much capacity, the only names in this film I recognise are Michael Biehn and Rosanna Arquette, both of whom play pivotal characters and do so extremely well.
The film begins with nuclear missiles raining down on New York City. Eight residents of an apartment block force their way into the ex-military survivalist caretakers fallout shelter in the basement of the building hoping to live through the terrible events going on above ground.
The "survivors" are an eclectic mix of people, a young couple, a mother and her preteen daughter, two brothers and a shy reclusive man.
Very quickly, the caretaker (Biehn) tries to assert his dominance over the group, but ultimately fails due to the combined efforts and wills of the younger men.
Shortly after they lock themselves in, the shelter is invaded by masked soldiers of indeterminate origin (it is never explained who these soldiers are) who kidnap Wendis (Arquette) daughter. the survivors successfully manage to repulse the invaders, killing one of them and taking some of their weapons. One of the men, Josh, volunteers to dress in the dead soldiers uniform and go outside to see if he can find a way for them all to escape, when he does so, he instead finds that the outside is a series of plastic sheeting corridors, which lead to some sort of laboratory, in which he finds Wendis daughter seemingly having medical experiments being performed on her, as well as other children all locked in deep freeze units. His disguise is rumbled quickly by one of the other soldiers within the bizarre complex and he beats a hasty retreat back to the shelter, killing some of the soldiers as he flees.
After he returns, the soldiers weld the metal door of the shelter shut, thus preventing their escape.
Resigning themselves to being trapped within the small basement shelter, the survivors begin to lose hope, and over time, begin turning somewhat insane.
Firstly, after arguments over food and supplies begin breaking out, the survivors find that the caretaker has a secret room which is crammed full of food and clean drinking water, his punishment for not revealing this, as well as for killing one of their number in "self defence" is a lengthy torture session, carried out by Bobby and Josh, who emerge as the dominant members of the group, followed by him being tied to a chair and left to starve in a back room.
Bobby also begins physically and sexually abusing Wendi, as she has become completely apathetic upon learning her daughter is dead, even going so far as to tell Eva, the only other female survivor, that she should begin allowing the men to have sex with her on a regular basis in order to make themselves all feel better.
As time passes, Bobby and Josh become degenerates, and begin indulging in various bizarre sexual rituals, while all the time very obviously suffering from the early stages of radiation poisoning, for example, Bobby begins wearing Wendis clothes and make up, while Wendi is usually seen wearing only a dressing gown or makeshift clothes made from gaffer tape.
Eva and Adrien try and figure out another way to escape, and their breakthrough comes when the caretaker reveals that they could escape by swimming through the septic tank and going out through the sewers.
Things come to a head when it is discovered that Bobby and/or Josh have killed Wendi in the process of abusing her, and open fighting breaks out.
The caretaker reveals he has another gun hidden in his safe room and it ends up getting used to kill Bobby, but then Josh immolates himself, leaving Adrien and the caretaker scrambling to escape the flames, while Eva locks them out of the toilet, and, taking the dead soldiers NBC suit earlier worn by Josh, she escapes through the sewers, leaving the other two men to be burned to death.
The ending of the film is somewhat depressing, as all through the film Eva and Adrien struggle to maintain their relationship, but she happily abandons him when it looks like she might be killed, and the final scene shows her walking through a completely destroyed New York, whose streets are litters with the skeletons of people killed by nuclear blasts.
This isn't a bad film, but its really, really hard going in the middle, as the films subject matter is wholly dependant on character development, which fortunately, this film does really well.
This film will most certainly NOT appeal to all, especially those looking for action scenes etc or mystery, but its a nice enough film to get you thinking about human nature.
I give this film 6 megatons out of 10
The film is somewhat different to most "post nuclear" films as it makes no effort to explain how or why the war happened, or indeed how life goes on in the fallout riddled aftermath, instead, the film concentrates on the breakdown of human morality following a harrowing and extremely life changing event.
Although the film gets a little slow in places, which is unsurprising given its subject matter, and lacks any kind of deep meaningful scenes or action packed edge of your seat type bits, the whole aspect of people "going rotten" is well explored and realistically portrayed.
The film itself also doesn't make use of "A-list" actors in much capacity, the only names in this film I recognise are Michael Biehn and Rosanna Arquette, both of whom play pivotal characters and do so extremely well.
The film begins with nuclear missiles raining down on New York City. Eight residents of an apartment block force their way into the ex-military survivalist caretakers fallout shelter in the basement of the building hoping to live through the terrible events going on above ground.
The "survivors" are an eclectic mix of people, a young couple, a mother and her preteen daughter, two brothers and a shy reclusive man.
Very quickly, the caretaker (Biehn) tries to assert his dominance over the group, but ultimately fails due to the combined efforts and wills of the younger men.
Shortly after they lock themselves in, the shelter is invaded by masked soldiers of indeterminate origin (it is never explained who these soldiers are) who kidnap Wendis (Arquette) daughter. the survivors successfully manage to repulse the invaders, killing one of them and taking some of their weapons. One of the men, Josh, volunteers to dress in the dead soldiers uniform and go outside to see if he can find a way for them all to escape, when he does so, he instead finds that the outside is a series of plastic sheeting corridors, which lead to some sort of laboratory, in which he finds Wendis daughter seemingly having medical experiments being performed on her, as well as other children all locked in deep freeze units. His disguise is rumbled quickly by one of the other soldiers within the bizarre complex and he beats a hasty retreat back to the shelter, killing some of the soldiers as he flees.
After he returns, the soldiers weld the metal door of the shelter shut, thus preventing their escape.
Resigning themselves to being trapped within the small basement shelter, the survivors begin to lose hope, and over time, begin turning somewhat insane.
Firstly, after arguments over food and supplies begin breaking out, the survivors find that the caretaker has a secret room which is crammed full of food and clean drinking water, his punishment for not revealing this, as well as for killing one of their number in "self defence" is a lengthy torture session, carried out by Bobby and Josh, who emerge as the dominant members of the group, followed by him being tied to a chair and left to starve in a back room.
Bobby also begins physically and sexually abusing Wendi, as she has become completely apathetic upon learning her daughter is dead, even going so far as to tell Eva, the only other female survivor, that she should begin allowing the men to have sex with her on a regular basis in order to make themselves all feel better.
As time passes, Bobby and Josh become degenerates, and begin indulging in various bizarre sexual rituals, while all the time very obviously suffering from the early stages of radiation poisoning, for example, Bobby begins wearing Wendis clothes and make up, while Wendi is usually seen wearing only a dressing gown or makeshift clothes made from gaffer tape.
Eva and Adrien try and figure out another way to escape, and their breakthrough comes when the caretaker reveals that they could escape by swimming through the septic tank and going out through the sewers.
Things come to a head when it is discovered that Bobby and/or Josh have killed Wendi in the process of abusing her, and open fighting breaks out.
The caretaker reveals he has another gun hidden in his safe room and it ends up getting used to kill Bobby, but then Josh immolates himself, leaving Adrien and the caretaker scrambling to escape the flames, while Eva locks them out of the toilet, and, taking the dead soldiers NBC suit earlier worn by Josh, she escapes through the sewers, leaving the other two men to be burned to death.
The ending of the film is somewhat depressing, as all through the film Eva and Adrien struggle to maintain their relationship, but she happily abandons him when it looks like she might be killed, and the final scene shows her walking through a completely destroyed New York, whose streets are litters with the skeletons of people killed by nuclear blasts.
This isn't a bad film, but its really, really hard going in the middle, as the films subject matter is wholly dependant on character development, which fortunately, this film does really well.
This film will most certainly NOT appeal to all, especially those looking for action scenes etc or mystery, but its a nice enough film to get you thinking about human nature.
I give this film 6 megatons out of 10
Monday, 7 October 2013
Dystopiarama:- Life After People (TV series 2009-2010)
"Life After People" is a History Channel documentary series produced between 2009 and 2010, and thus far has had two complete series plus its initial 90 minute "special" episode.
The series postulates what would happen to the Earth should mankind suddenly vanish, and also explores what would mankinds legacy to the universe be should this happen.
The series' tagline is "Welcome to Earth, population: Zero".
The initial 90 minute episode takes a look at various subjects, mostly concentrating on the subjects of how animals would cope without humans, and also the matter of urban decay.
The series version, which runs at approx 50 minutes per episode, expands on these concepts, with each episode having a particular theme, such as the fate of various building types, the long term effects of human mechanisation and technology, and the effect that pollution would have after we have gone and are not around to stop it.
The series makes no attempt to explain why humans have gone, they just have, and all the episodes show time from "today" (i.e, early 21st century) and extends forward, up to 1 million years into the future in the case of one episode.
The series can make for rather depressing viewing at times, for example, all those fluffy little pet animals would not fare so well without their owners to look after them, and many farm animals such as dairy cows would die from starvation, whereas other creatures, such as house cats, horses, raccoons and rats would do very well freed from the constraints of human intervention. A special mention also goes to head lice, who would become extinct within two weeks due to the complete loss of their only available food source.
One episode concentrates on the legacy of pollution left behind, showing how nuclear waste and hazardous chemicals would cause horrendous environmental damage after their containment systems begin to break down within the first 50 years or so, and the incredible amount of time it would take for nature to recover from the mass chemical or radioactive poisoning that would result.
Another bizarre twist is an episode which looks at what would happen to buried or preserved human corpses in the years that followed, where, due to lack of maintenance, human corpses would not only provide a feast for the animals that remain, but would also end up becoming something akin to the crude oil that we use by the gallon now.
On a plus note, the series takes a fairly in depth look at the way nature would quickly reassert its dominance over the Earth one we have gone, with cities quickly giving way to the regrowth of plants and trees and natural water flows sweeping away concrete dams.
Glimpses into the far future show cities such as London, Washington D.C and Seattle becoming marshlands or even being completely covered by water, and even show that in the far, far future, bacteria from Earth my spread life from Earth to other planets both in and outside of Earths solar system due to them stowing away on the various space probes launched during mans time on Earth.
The series itself is quite enjoyable, albeit very dry in some places, and should you wish to view it, you can do so, click HERE
The series postulates what would happen to the Earth should mankind suddenly vanish, and also explores what would mankinds legacy to the universe be should this happen.
The series' tagline is "Welcome to Earth, population: Zero".
The initial 90 minute episode takes a look at various subjects, mostly concentrating on the subjects of how animals would cope without humans, and also the matter of urban decay.
The series version, which runs at approx 50 minutes per episode, expands on these concepts, with each episode having a particular theme, such as the fate of various building types, the long term effects of human mechanisation and technology, and the effect that pollution would have after we have gone and are not around to stop it.
The series makes no attempt to explain why humans have gone, they just have, and all the episodes show time from "today" (i.e, early 21st century) and extends forward, up to 1 million years into the future in the case of one episode.
The series can make for rather depressing viewing at times, for example, all those fluffy little pet animals would not fare so well without their owners to look after them, and many farm animals such as dairy cows would die from starvation, whereas other creatures, such as house cats, horses, raccoons and rats would do very well freed from the constraints of human intervention. A special mention also goes to head lice, who would become extinct within two weeks due to the complete loss of their only available food source.
One episode concentrates on the legacy of pollution left behind, showing how nuclear waste and hazardous chemicals would cause horrendous environmental damage after their containment systems begin to break down within the first 50 years or so, and the incredible amount of time it would take for nature to recover from the mass chemical or radioactive poisoning that would result.
Another bizarre twist is an episode which looks at what would happen to buried or preserved human corpses in the years that followed, where, due to lack of maintenance, human corpses would not only provide a feast for the animals that remain, but would also end up becoming something akin to the crude oil that we use by the gallon now.
On a plus note, the series takes a fairly in depth look at the way nature would quickly reassert its dominance over the Earth one we have gone, with cities quickly giving way to the regrowth of plants and trees and natural water flows sweeping away concrete dams.
Glimpses into the far future show cities such as London, Washington D.C and Seattle becoming marshlands or even being completely covered by water, and even show that in the far, far future, bacteria from Earth my spread life from Earth to other planets both in and outside of Earths solar system due to them stowing away on the various space probes launched during mans time on Earth.
The series itself is quite enjoyable, albeit very dry in some places, and should you wish to view it, you can do so, click HERE
Sunday, 6 October 2013
Aint War Hell? - The Day After (ABC 1983)
The Day After is a 1983 American TV movie starring Steve Guttenberg, John Lithgow, Bibi Besch and a whole list of others Ive never heard of.
Again this film depicts the events leading up to, during, and after a global nuclear war circa the early 1980s, concentrating on the lives of a small group of people who live in and around the area of Kansas City.
Like both "The War Game" and "Threads", the build up to the war itself takes place off screen, this time round, the war is caused by a Soviet build up of troops in East Berlin, which quickly degenerates into a Soviet invasion of Western Europe, leading to open conflict worldwide, and eventually the launch of ICBMs.
The characters followed throughout the main plot are as follows:-
Dr Oakes - a fairly affluent doctor at one of Kansas Citys main hospitals. At the time that the first Soviet missiles destroy the main bulk of the city, he is on his way to give a lecture at the university of Missouri but gets stuck on the road after the EMP effects of the first missiles knock his car out of commission. He returns to the hospital and spends several weeks struggling to treat survivors, before finally succumbing to the effects of radiation sickness. A poignant scene is where at the end of the film, he manages to return home to find his house has become a smoking crater, and the only remains of his family is his wife's smashed wristwatch.
The Dahlberg family - Farmers from rural Kansas. The Dahlbergs farm is surrounded by missile silos, and on the day of the war they are preparing for their eldest daughters wedding. When the war breaks out, they take shelter in their cellar, and are eventually joined by Stephen Klein.
Stephen Klein - A medical student on his way home when the war started. Stephen finds himself caught in the open as the bombs start falling and takes cover inside which saves his life. He makes his way on foot back to the city but stumbles across the Dahlberg house on his way there, where he becomes like a surrogate son to them. At the end of the film, Stephen is suffering from the early stages of radiation sickness but has formed a relationship of sorts with the Dahlbergs eldest daughter.
Professor Huxley - A teacher at the university of Missouri. Professor Huxley provides most of the films "science bits", as well as several healthy doses of cynicism throughout, especially over mankinds chances of long term survival.
The film is marked by several very harrowing scenes, including people being vaporised by the initial nuclear blast, piles of dead human and animal corpses, people descending into savagery and all the usual stuff youd expect form this type of film.
One bit that jumps out for me though, it one scene where, shortly after the war has ended, people gather in the ruins of a church near the Dahlbergs home to listen to a sermon given by a scarred and burned priest, who cannot even bring himself to complete it due to the absolute obvious fact that its words, in which he attempts to extoll gods glory by stating that the faithful will be protected, whilst standing in the burnt out rubble of his church surrounded by wounded and dying parishioners in a country which is now lying in ruins and packed stalked by death.
A caption at the end of the film states that the film is a work of fiction, but is based on fact, and that the film makers intentionally toned down the effects of a nuclear conflict in order to make the story more beleviable, and that they hoped it would give those in positions of power something to think about.
Oddly enough, it did, as President Reagan was said to have viewed the film and bore it in mind when he pursued nuclear disarmament talks in the late 1980s.
As for my opinion on this film, id have to say that its a pretty good one, although it sacrifices the harsh realities of "Threads" in order to make the film more viewable to family audiences.
If you want to watch this movie, click HERE
Again this film depicts the events leading up to, during, and after a global nuclear war circa the early 1980s, concentrating on the lives of a small group of people who live in and around the area of Kansas City.
Like both "The War Game" and "Threads", the build up to the war itself takes place off screen, this time round, the war is caused by a Soviet build up of troops in East Berlin, which quickly degenerates into a Soviet invasion of Western Europe, leading to open conflict worldwide, and eventually the launch of ICBMs.
The characters followed throughout the main plot are as follows:-
Dr Oakes - a fairly affluent doctor at one of Kansas Citys main hospitals. At the time that the first Soviet missiles destroy the main bulk of the city, he is on his way to give a lecture at the university of Missouri but gets stuck on the road after the EMP effects of the first missiles knock his car out of commission. He returns to the hospital and spends several weeks struggling to treat survivors, before finally succumbing to the effects of radiation sickness. A poignant scene is where at the end of the film, he manages to return home to find his house has become a smoking crater, and the only remains of his family is his wife's smashed wristwatch.
The Dahlberg family - Farmers from rural Kansas. The Dahlbergs farm is surrounded by missile silos, and on the day of the war they are preparing for their eldest daughters wedding. When the war breaks out, they take shelter in their cellar, and are eventually joined by Stephen Klein.
Stephen Klein - A medical student on his way home when the war started. Stephen finds himself caught in the open as the bombs start falling and takes cover inside which saves his life. He makes his way on foot back to the city but stumbles across the Dahlberg house on his way there, where he becomes like a surrogate son to them. At the end of the film, Stephen is suffering from the early stages of radiation sickness but has formed a relationship of sorts with the Dahlbergs eldest daughter.
Professor Huxley - A teacher at the university of Missouri. Professor Huxley provides most of the films "science bits", as well as several healthy doses of cynicism throughout, especially over mankinds chances of long term survival.
The film is marked by several very harrowing scenes, including people being vaporised by the initial nuclear blast, piles of dead human and animal corpses, people descending into savagery and all the usual stuff youd expect form this type of film.
One bit that jumps out for me though, it one scene where, shortly after the war has ended, people gather in the ruins of a church near the Dahlbergs home to listen to a sermon given by a scarred and burned priest, who cannot even bring himself to complete it due to the absolute obvious fact that its words, in which he attempts to extoll gods glory by stating that the faithful will be protected, whilst standing in the burnt out rubble of his church surrounded by wounded and dying parishioners in a country which is now lying in ruins and packed stalked by death.
A caption at the end of the film states that the film is a work of fiction, but is based on fact, and that the film makers intentionally toned down the effects of a nuclear conflict in order to make the story more beleviable, and that they hoped it would give those in positions of power something to think about.
Oddly enough, it did, as President Reagan was said to have viewed the film and bore it in mind when he pursued nuclear disarmament talks in the late 1980s.
As for my opinion on this film, id have to say that its a pretty good one, although it sacrifices the harsh realities of "Threads" in order to make the film more viewable to family audiences.
If you want to watch this movie, click HERE
Tuesday, 1 October 2013
Aint War Hell? - Threads (BBC 1984)
So, my next stop on my journey into nucelar holocaust drama is 1984s "Threads".
Like "The War Game" before it (which had yet to be shown on television, despite being made nearly 20 years previously) Threads is a Drama-Documentary, however unlike The War Game, Threads has a series of characters which it follows over the course of about 25 years.
Threads was, and still is, considered somewhat harrowing viewing, as like its 60s predecessor, it pulls no punches in showing the horrible effects of a nuclear war on British society.
Set in "modern day", i.e, the early 1980s, Threads follows the fortunes of 3 groups of people, The Beckett Family, the Kemp family, and Sheffields emergency planning committee.
The narration of the story comes in the form of on screen "teletype" style captions, giving information relevant to on screen events and marking the passage of time.
The story begins with Ruth and Jimmy, a young couple who decide to marry after Ruth falls pregnant. While both families go about their daily lives, news reports heard playing in the background on radios and TV sets state that the USSR has invaded Iran, in response, NATO forces mobilise and the USSR is issued with a warning to withdraw otherwise the NATO countries would step in to protect western economic interests in the region (in other words..oil..oh look, how familiar is that eh?).
As relations between NATO and the USSR begin to fizzle away, the home office instructs Sheffield city council to form an emergency planning committee, to be based in the cellar of the city hall. Local councillors and civil servants are chosen to sit on the committee and begin setting up their "command centre" of sorts, not really expecting anything to happen.
As the preparations are made, numerous protests occur, firstly from anti nuclear campaigners, and then later by trade unionists, calling for a general strike in protest at the prospect of war.
The on screen captions state that the police are given emergency powers to arrest and detain both known and suspected subversives in order to maintain calm.
Despite all these preapartions however, on one May morning, whilst it is still night time in the US, "Attack warning red" is broadcast, meaning that world war 3 has begun.
(it is left deliberately ambiguous as to who fired first, although one news report states that US forces in west Germany detonated a tactical nuclear weapon over advancing Soviet troops in order to prevent the invasion of western Europe).
Within minutes, a soviet missile airburst over the north sea knocks out all electrical systems in northern England, and soon after, missiles begin impacting on major targets such as RAF Finningley, the Sheffield steelworks and mining areas.
As is the norm for nuclear warfare, anyone or anything caught in a primary blast zone is immediately vapourised, anything in the secondary blast zones either bursts into flames from the intense heat, or is pulverised by the blast wave.
Jimmys family, the Kemps, rush to complete their fallout shelter in their home, but are unable to fully complete it when the first missile strike hits. Jimmys younger brother is killed as he hides in Jimmys aviary, and Jimmys parents are injured as their house begins to collapse around them.
Jimmy himself, who is at work at the time of the attack, sets off running to try and get to Ruth, he is never seen again.
Ruths family, including her grandmother, who was sent home from the hospital she was in in order to make room for the expected wounded and injured, fare slightly better than the Kemps, due to them all taking shelter in their cellar, however, even with this makeshift shelter, radiation sickness begins to take its toll. An on screen caption points out that in its early stages, the symptoms of radiation sickness are indistinguishable from panic.
In total, 3000 megatons are exchanged worldwide, with approximately 150 megatons falling in the UK.
The emergency planning committee, or, at least those who bothered to turn up for work that morning, are trapped in their underground shelter, imprisoned by the rubble of the destroyed town hall. One of their number is killed by falling masonary, however their radio still functions, and after several attempts, they are able to make contact with remnants of the civil defence volunteers in nearby Stocksbridge, who tell them that due to raging fires and heavy radioactive fallout, it will be some time before a rescue attempt can be made.
A week passes, and many of those injured in the attack are already dead, and the streets are littered with rotting corpses and vermin. Without social infrastructure, the few functioning hospitals in the area quickly run out of essential medical supplies, even sundries such as wound dressings, disinfectants and even sharp knives are quickly used up, and doctors are forced to improvise, one scene shows nurses ripping up blankets to use in place of bandages, ans salt being mixed with hot water to be used in place of disinfectant.
Ruths grandma dies from the initial onset of radiation sickness, and, while her father drags the body upstairs, Ruth escapes and goes in search of Jimmy, however when she arrives at the Kemp family home, she finds Jimmys mothers rotting corpse abandoned in their half finished shelter. Jimmys father is later seen swapping a packet of cigarettes for a bottle of whisky with another survivor, but he soon succumbs to radiation and dies.
In the 2 weeks Ruth takes to return home from trying to find Jimmy, The Becketts house is invaded by looters and both her parents are killed.
Civil order breaks down rapidly, and in one of this films most iconic scenes, a traffic warden is shown wielding an assault rifle and being assigned to guard prisoners captured while looting or rioting, however before long, civil defence forces simply shoot looters on sight, as dead people don't need to be fed.
The emergency planning committee struggles to come up with any effective means of keeping up a steady supply of food and materials for the survivors above ground, and take to arguing amongst themselves ineffectively.
Within 2 months, radiation sickness, starvation, dehydration and infection have killed roughly 40 million people worldwide, with their corpses lying unburied due to lack of fuel to cremate them and a waste of energy feeding people to dig graves, this leads to outbreaks of diseases such as cholera and dysentery, which leads to even more deaths due to the lack of the most basic medicines or even clean drinking water.
At this time, rescuers finally manage to unearth the emergency planning committees bunker, only to find all its occupants have died from suffocation.
6 months down the line and winter sets in , which is not helped by the presence of a "nuclear winter" beforehand, which has pretty much killed off all the plants and crops, leading to less food available than ever.
By now, Ruth is heavilly pregnant and having ignored "official" advice, such as it is, to remain in her home town, she has walked 20 miles to Buxton, where the remaining local authority billets her to stay in a house occupied by an old man, who promptly throws her and other refugees out into the street once the police have left as he refuses to share his meagre food supplies with strangers.
Ruth carries on wandering and eventually gives birth to a baby girl in an abandoned barn (the end credits name this child as "Jane")
A year after the war, and a caption states that the population of the UK is now estimated to be less than 3 million people, and although in some areas manual coal mining has resumed, as well as the use of steam powered traction engines for farming, the lack of agrochemicals, pesticides and fertilizers means that crop harvests are poor.
Ruth is shown attempting to barter with a street peddler, however he isn't interested in any of the scrap items she is carrying, and instead in exchange for 3 dead rats, he demands sexual services.
Ruth is then shown running from civil defence personnel after stealing a bag of grain, which she then crushes on the floor of a house she is hiding in by using a rusted metal bucket in order to get something edible for her child.
10 years later, Ruth is shown working in the rudimentary fields tilling soil, however the caption states that due to damage to the ozone layer, the light is heavy with ultraviolet radiation, leading to cataracts becoming widespread and increased risk of cancer. during her work period, Ruth collapses, and is shown to have cataracts and to look much older than her years due to radiation exposure.
Ruth and Jane live in a makeshift home, Jane attempts to wake Ruth up for work, however Ruth dies silently, Jane, who has grown up in a world without education or any kind of social interaction, stares emotionlessly at her mothers body, before taking Ruths scarf and hairbrush before leaving.
3 more years pass and Jane appears to have picked up two male companions. None of the three "post war" children can speak proper English, instead communicating by a series of grunts, broken sentences and slang. Jane is then shown running from civil defence personnel, however her companion "Gaz" is shot. Jane and her companion "Spike" escape with some stolen food but as they inspect their booty, Spike rapes Jane.
several months later, Jane is shown wandering through the rubble of a destroyed town, very obviously pregnant. She happens across a makeshift hospital where she pleads with a woman for help as "babbie coming", initially her pleas go unanswered until she gives birth to a stillborn and deformed child, which is handed to her wrapped in a dirty and bloodstained sheet.
The film ends just as Jane screams.
Like "The War Game", this film holds nothing back, and many of the scenes are extremely disturbing to watch, but they are nevertheless a true representation of what the expected effects of a global nuclear conflict would be, in fact, in some ways the scenes are actually rather optimistic.
This is a very good film, well made and very evocative and is recommended highly.
If you would like to watch this film, click HERE
Like "The War Game" before it (which had yet to be shown on television, despite being made nearly 20 years previously) Threads is a Drama-Documentary, however unlike The War Game, Threads has a series of characters which it follows over the course of about 25 years.
Threads was, and still is, considered somewhat harrowing viewing, as like its 60s predecessor, it pulls no punches in showing the horrible effects of a nuclear war on British society.
Set in "modern day", i.e, the early 1980s, Threads follows the fortunes of 3 groups of people, The Beckett Family, the Kemp family, and Sheffields emergency planning committee.
The narration of the story comes in the form of on screen "teletype" style captions, giving information relevant to on screen events and marking the passage of time.
The story begins with Ruth and Jimmy, a young couple who decide to marry after Ruth falls pregnant. While both families go about their daily lives, news reports heard playing in the background on radios and TV sets state that the USSR has invaded Iran, in response, NATO forces mobilise and the USSR is issued with a warning to withdraw otherwise the NATO countries would step in to protect western economic interests in the region (in other words..oil..oh look, how familiar is that eh?).
As relations between NATO and the USSR begin to fizzle away, the home office instructs Sheffield city council to form an emergency planning committee, to be based in the cellar of the city hall. Local councillors and civil servants are chosen to sit on the committee and begin setting up their "command centre" of sorts, not really expecting anything to happen.
As the preparations are made, numerous protests occur, firstly from anti nuclear campaigners, and then later by trade unionists, calling for a general strike in protest at the prospect of war.
The on screen captions state that the police are given emergency powers to arrest and detain both known and suspected subversives in order to maintain calm.
Despite all these preapartions however, on one May morning, whilst it is still night time in the US, "Attack warning red" is broadcast, meaning that world war 3 has begun.
(it is left deliberately ambiguous as to who fired first, although one news report states that US forces in west Germany detonated a tactical nuclear weapon over advancing Soviet troops in order to prevent the invasion of western Europe).
Within minutes, a soviet missile airburst over the north sea knocks out all electrical systems in northern England, and soon after, missiles begin impacting on major targets such as RAF Finningley, the Sheffield steelworks and mining areas.
As is the norm for nuclear warfare, anyone or anything caught in a primary blast zone is immediately vapourised, anything in the secondary blast zones either bursts into flames from the intense heat, or is pulverised by the blast wave.
Jimmys family, the Kemps, rush to complete their fallout shelter in their home, but are unable to fully complete it when the first missile strike hits. Jimmys younger brother is killed as he hides in Jimmys aviary, and Jimmys parents are injured as their house begins to collapse around them.
Jimmy himself, who is at work at the time of the attack, sets off running to try and get to Ruth, he is never seen again.
Ruths family, including her grandmother, who was sent home from the hospital she was in in order to make room for the expected wounded and injured, fare slightly better than the Kemps, due to them all taking shelter in their cellar, however, even with this makeshift shelter, radiation sickness begins to take its toll. An on screen caption points out that in its early stages, the symptoms of radiation sickness are indistinguishable from panic.
In total, 3000 megatons are exchanged worldwide, with approximately 150 megatons falling in the UK.
The emergency planning committee, or, at least those who bothered to turn up for work that morning, are trapped in their underground shelter, imprisoned by the rubble of the destroyed town hall. One of their number is killed by falling masonary, however their radio still functions, and after several attempts, they are able to make contact with remnants of the civil defence volunteers in nearby Stocksbridge, who tell them that due to raging fires and heavy radioactive fallout, it will be some time before a rescue attempt can be made.
A week passes, and many of those injured in the attack are already dead, and the streets are littered with rotting corpses and vermin. Without social infrastructure, the few functioning hospitals in the area quickly run out of essential medical supplies, even sundries such as wound dressings, disinfectants and even sharp knives are quickly used up, and doctors are forced to improvise, one scene shows nurses ripping up blankets to use in place of bandages, ans salt being mixed with hot water to be used in place of disinfectant.
Ruths grandma dies from the initial onset of radiation sickness, and, while her father drags the body upstairs, Ruth escapes and goes in search of Jimmy, however when she arrives at the Kemp family home, she finds Jimmys mothers rotting corpse abandoned in their half finished shelter. Jimmys father is later seen swapping a packet of cigarettes for a bottle of whisky with another survivor, but he soon succumbs to radiation and dies.
In the 2 weeks Ruth takes to return home from trying to find Jimmy, The Becketts house is invaded by looters and both her parents are killed.
Civil order breaks down rapidly, and in one of this films most iconic scenes, a traffic warden is shown wielding an assault rifle and being assigned to guard prisoners captured while looting or rioting, however before long, civil defence forces simply shoot looters on sight, as dead people don't need to be fed.
The emergency planning committee struggles to come up with any effective means of keeping up a steady supply of food and materials for the survivors above ground, and take to arguing amongst themselves ineffectively.
Within 2 months, radiation sickness, starvation, dehydration and infection have killed roughly 40 million people worldwide, with their corpses lying unburied due to lack of fuel to cremate them and a waste of energy feeding people to dig graves, this leads to outbreaks of diseases such as cholera and dysentery, which leads to even more deaths due to the lack of the most basic medicines or even clean drinking water.
At this time, rescuers finally manage to unearth the emergency planning committees bunker, only to find all its occupants have died from suffocation.
6 months down the line and winter sets in , which is not helped by the presence of a "nuclear winter" beforehand, which has pretty much killed off all the plants and crops, leading to less food available than ever.
By now, Ruth is heavilly pregnant and having ignored "official" advice, such as it is, to remain in her home town, she has walked 20 miles to Buxton, where the remaining local authority billets her to stay in a house occupied by an old man, who promptly throws her and other refugees out into the street once the police have left as he refuses to share his meagre food supplies with strangers.
Ruth carries on wandering and eventually gives birth to a baby girl in an abandoned barn (the end credits name this child as "Jane")
A year after the war, and a caption states that the population of the UK is now estimated to be less than 3 million people, and although in some areas manual coal mining has resumed, as well as the use of steam powered traction engines for farming, the lack of agrochemicals, pesticides and fertilizers means that crop harvests are poor.
Ruth is shown attempting to barter with a street peddler, however he isn't interested in any of the scrap items she is carrying, and instead in exchange for 3 dead rats, he demands sexual services.
Ruth is then shown running from civil defence personnel after stealing a bag of grain, which she then crushes on the floor of a house she is hiding in by using a rusted metal bucket in order to get something edible for her child.
10 years later, Ruth is shown working in the rudimentary fields tilling soil, however the caption states that due to damage to the ozone layer, the light is heavy with ultraviolet radiation, leading to cataracts becoming widespread and increased risk of cancer. during her work period, Ruth collapses, and is shown to have cataracts and to look much older than her years due to radiation exposure.
Ruth and Jane live in a makeshift home, Jane attempts to wake Ruth up for work, however Ruth dies silently, Jane, who has grown up in a world without education or any kind of social interaction, stares emotionlessly at her mothers body, before taking Ruths scarf and hairbrush before leaving.
3 more years pass and Jane appears to have picked up two male companions. None of the three "post war" children can speak proper English, instead communicating by a series of grunts, broken sentences and slang. Jane is then shown running from civil defence personnel, however her companion "Gaz" is shot. Jane and her companion "Spike" escape with some stolen food but as they inspect their booty, Spike rapes Jane.
several months later, Jane is shown wandering through the rubble of a destroyed town, very obviously pregnant. She happens across a makeshift hospital where she pleads with a woman for help as "babbie coming", initially her pleas go unanswered until she gives birth to a stillborn and deformed child, which is handed to her wrapped in a dirty and bloodstained sheet.
The film ends just as Jane screams.
Like "The War Game", this film holds nothing back, and many of the scenes are extremely disturbing to watch, but they are nevertheless a true representation of what the expected effects of a global nuclear conflict would be, in fact, in some ways the scenes are actually rather optimistic.
This is a very good film, well made and very evocative and is recommended highly.
If you would like to watch this film, click HERE
Monday, 30 September 2013
Aint War Hell? - The War Game (BBC 1965)
"The War Game" is a 1965 docu-drama-film about the effects of a global nuclear war, set in contemporary times (ie, the late '60s).
Originally planned to be shown as part of the BBCs "The Wednesday Play" series (which ran in a weekly prime time slot from 1964 until 1970) the play/film was a groundbreaking and exceptionally honest portrayal of the state of affairs in Britain at the time and showed the total and complete lack of understanding about just what would happen should world war 3 actually occur.
As such, when viewed by the BBC governors and government officials prior to its broadcast, the program was immediately pulled from the broadcast schedules, and wasnt shown in full on television until 1985.
This was due to the fact that the brutally honest style of filming, using actual quotes and recreations of government procedures, as well as interviews with real people in the street regarding the various topics related to nuclear war would have heavilly damaged the carefully crafted government image that nuclear war wasnt really all that different from the use of conventional bombs, and that the government could be trusted to get things up and running again following a nuclear exchange.
Plot wise, the film doesnt particularly follow any particular person, or group of people, but instead recreates a snapshot of life in and around a typical english town in Kent.
The build up to "the war" happens completely off camera, and centres around a Chinese invasion of south Vietnam (which incidentally was a very real portent of things to come in the Vietnam war which was kicking off at the time this film was made) in response ot this, the NATO powers begin mobilising against China, but, to show solidarity with their communist friends, the USSR mobilises its forces in east Germany, eventually invading west Berlin.
In response to this, the US president (Ed Bishop) issues an ultimatum to the USSR, leave West Germany or else!.
Open warfare soon breaks out between the NATO and warsaw pact countries in Germany, and talk soon comes round to the use of tactical nuclear weapons.
In Britain, which the narrator points out has more targets for nuclear missiles than the entire continental United States due to its high concentrations of military staging areas, missile launching facilities and industrial and manufacturing facilities, the populations of large cities are graded with a rating of 1 to 5, and then evacuated to towns in the country or in remote areas like Wales or the Lake district.
The vast majority of these evacuees are young women and children, any men over the age of 18 are to remain behind in the cities, either to continue working or to fight should there be an invasion.
Preparations for war are shown, firstly in the form of civil defence volunteers going door to door handing out booklets , which it is remarked have been available for some time, but did not sell well due to their asking price of 9d, so no one has really read their content, much less have had time to build fallout shelters as described in the book.
Profiteering soon becomes rife, with people selling sandbags, wood and sand for ridiculous prices, and shop owners begin selling tinned food and supplies for vastly inflated markups, all the while, evacuees are forced to live with complete strangers under threat of imprisonment under the emergency powers act.
Interviews with people in the street show the level of ignorance the general public had about a nuclear war, with one woman referring to Strontium-90 as "some sort of gunpowder" and people not knowing what effects radioactive fallout would have on them other than it being "some sort of dust that makes you ill if you swallow it".
The narrator points out at this point that the amount of warning time available for an ICBM strike could be as little as 30 seconds, depending where the missiles were launched from, and at what time of day the launch occurs, and that the standard "3 minute warning" benchmark was more optimistic than realistic.
Eventually, the war begins proper, after the US president orders a pre-emptive tactical nuclear strike against Russian forces who are still holding West Berlin, pretty soon, the ICBMs start flying.
The village , although not a target, is hit by a stray missile which was headed for Gatwick airport but failed en route and exploded prematurely, this is shown on screen as a massive white flash in the sky, which immediately vapourises anyone caught out in the open, blinds those who were outside of the blast radius by melting their eyeballs due to the intense light, then the ensuing firestorm and blast wave set fire to anything flammable within its maximum blast radius, and destroy or severely damage any building not strong enough to withstand it.
The following day, radioactive fallout begins slowly killing off those who haven't found shelter, which is just about everyone.
The local authorities struggle to cope with the sudden influx of wounded and dying, and soon rioting and looting becomes commonplace, which increasingly draconian measures fail to curb (the narrator points out that following the firebombing of Dresden during World War 2, it was found that respectable middle class citizens had no qualms whatsoever about resorting to violent looting and theft, while those of the lower classes, from whom this type of behaviour would normally be expected, were less likely to exhibit this behaviour)
Within a month, all civil order has broken down, with policemen and civil defence volunteers being openly beaten, shot and murdered in the streets by looters and thieves, civil food banks find themselves over run and civilisation as it was known vanishes into history as the instinct for survival takes precedence over everything else.
Interviews with people in the street after the war show that following the harrowing events, people enter a state of incurable depression, simply interested in nothing more than finding food, one man states that he was offered £1 (a lot of money for the average person in 1965) for a loaf of bread, but refused it as "you cant eat a pound note".
The film ends by showing a home for war orphans in Dover, where scarred, malnourished and deformed children are brought up by a local priest. None of the children show any interest in life when asked about what their hopes are for the future.
Probably the most disturbing thing about this film is the quotes used which were supplied by various sources at the time.
One actor, dressed as an Anglican priest, reads a statement by another priest who he quotes as saying that he was in favour of there being a nuclear war, simply because God protects the just and would help the righteous smite their enemies.
Another quote, this time from a government official at the time stated that they didn't believe that a global nuclear war would be any worse than the blitz, and that Britain would easily be able to cope with any aftereffects of a war and would be back on its fee tin no time etc etc.
The film is a very well made and very though provoking piece of film, and is highly recommended.
If you wish to view this film, you can do so by clicking HERE
Originally planned to be shown as part of the BBCs "The Wednesday Play" series (which ran in a weekly prime time slot from 1964 until 1970) the play/film was a groundbreaking and exceptionally honest portrayal of the state of affairs in Britain at the time and showed the total and complete lack of understanding about just what would happen should world war 3 actually occur.
As such, when viewed by the BBC governors and government officials prior to its broadcast, the program was immediately pulled from the broadcast schedules, and wasnt shown in full on television until 1985.
This was due to the fact that the brutally honest style of filming, using actual quotes and recreations of government procedures, as well as interviews with real people in the street regarding the various topics related to nuclear war would have heavilly damaged the carefully crafted government image that nuclear war wasnt really all that different from the use of conventional bombs, and that the government could be trusted to get things up and running again following a nuclear exchange.
Plot wise, the film doesnt particularly follow any particular person, or group of people, but instead recreates a snapshot of life in and around a typical english town in Kent.
The build up to "the war" happens completely off camera, and centres around a Chinese invasion of south Vietnam (which incidentally was a very real portent of things to come in the Vietnam war which was kicking off at the time this film was made) in response ot this, the NATO powers begin mobilising against China, but, to show solidarity with their communist friends, the USSR mobilises its forces in east Germany, eventually invading west Berlin.
In response to this, the US president (Ed Bishop) issues an ultimatum to the USSR, leave West Germany or else!.
Open warfare soon breaks out between the NATO and warsaw pact countries in Germany, and talk soon comes round to the use of tactical nuclear weapons.
In Britain, which the narrator points out has more targets for nuclear missiles than the entire continental United States due to its high concentrations of military staging areas, missile launching facilities and industrial and manufacturing facilities, the populations of large cities are graded with a rating of 1 to 5, and then evacuated to towns in the country or in remote areas like Wales or the Lake district.
The vast majority of these evacuees are young women and children, any men over the age of 18 are to remain behind in the cities, either to continue working or to fight should there be an invasion.
Preparations for war are shown, firstly in the form of civil defence volunteers going door to door handing out booklets , which it is remarked have been available for some time, but did not sell well due to their asking price of 9d, so no one has really read their content, much less have had time to build fallout shelters as described in the book.
Profiteering soon becomes rife, with people selling sandbags, wood and sand for ridiculous prices, and shop owners begin selling tinned food and supplies for vastly inflated markups, all the while, evacuees are forced to live with complete strangers under threat of imprisonment under the emergency powers act.
Interviews with people in the street show the level of ignorance the general public had about a nuclear war, with one woman referring to Strontium-90 as "some sort of gunpowder" and people not knowing what effects radioactive fallout would have on them other than it being "some sort of dust that makes you ill if you swallow it".
The narrator points out at this point that the amount of warning time available for an ICBM strike could be as little as 30 seconds, depending where the missiles were launched from, and at what time of day the launch occurs, and that the standard "3 minute warning" benchmark was more optimistic than realistic.
Eventually, the war begins proper, after the US president orders a pre-emptive tactical nuclear strike against Russian forces who are still holding West Berlin, pretty soon, the ICBMs start flying.
The village , although not a target, is hit by a stray missile which was headed for Gatwick airport but failed en route and exploded prematurely, this is shown on screen as a massive white flash in the sky, which immediately vapourises anyone caught out in the open, blinds those who were outside of the blast radius by melting their eyeballs due to the intense light, then the ensuing firestorm and blast wave set fire to anything flammable within its maximum blast radius, and destroy or severely damage any building not strong enough to withstand it.
The following day, radioactive fallout begins slowly killing off those who haven't found shelter, which is just about everyone.
The local authorities struggle to cope with the sudden influx of wounded and dying, and soon rioting and looting becomes commonplace, which increasingly draconian measures fail to curb (the narrator points out that following the firebombing of Dresden during World War 2, it was found that respectable middle class citizens had no qualms whatsoever about resorting to violent looting and theft, while those of the lower classes, from whom this type of behaviour would normally be expected, were less likely to exhibit this behaviour)
Within a month, all civil order has broken down, with policemen and civil defence volunteers being openly beaten, shot and murdered in the streets by looters and thieves, civil food banks find themselves over run and civilisation as it was known vanishes into history as the instinct for survival takes precedence over everything else.
Interviews with people in the street after the war show that following the harrowing events, people enter a state of incurable depression, simply interested in nothing more than finding food, one man states that he was offered £1 (a lot of money for the average person in 1965) for a loaf of bread, but refused it as "you cant eat a pound note".
The film ends by showing a home for war orphans in Dover, where scarred, malnourished and deformed children are brought up by a local priest. None of the children show any interest in life when asked about what their hopes are for the future.
Probably the most disturbing thing about this film is the quotes used which were supplied by various sources at the time.
One actor, dressed as an Anglican priest, reads a statement by another priest who he quotes as saying that he was in favour of there being a nuclear war, simply because God protects the just and would help the righteous smite their enemies.
Another quote, this time from a government official at the time stated that they didn't believe that a global nuclear war would be any worse than the blitz, and that Britain would easily be able to cope with any aftereffects of a war and would be back on its fee tin no time etc etc.
The film is a very well made and very though provoking piece of film, and is highly recommended.
If you wish to view this film, you can do so by clicking HERE
Thursday, 22 August 2013
Anime Review - Diatron 5 (Korea, 1985)
Yeahhh.....
During the late 70s and early 80s the South Korean animation industry regarded the Japanese animation industry with somewhat envious eyes. While the Japanese were pouring out success stories like the Gundam series, Mazinger-Z, Getta robo etc, the Koreans only managed to either do the animations for western cartoon companies, or create poor quality pseudo-anime features.
Diatron 5 is one of these attempts at doing an anime-esque film.
Released in South Korea in 1985, Diatron 5 made its way westward not once, but twice during the late 1980s, firstly under the name "Space Transformers" (a horribly dubbed version originating from Hong Kong which made an attempt to cash in on the craze for Transformer toys in the west) and then again in the same year under the more suitable and less suck ass name of "Micro commando Diatron 5" (another fairly badly dubbed US release, which has to be said is superior to "Space Transformers" simply by virtue of the fact that the animation doesnt look like it was taken from a copied VHS video tape)
Diatron 5 is the name of a "super robot", the character model of which is a direct rip off of the "Machine Buffalo" toy from Takaras "Diaclone" toy line, (which also gave use the ultra awesome "Transformers" toy line...yeah baby!) , in fact, all the mecha in this film are direct rip offs of Diaclone toys, which is something these Korean attempts at anime like to do, a lot.
The storyline is thus....*face/palms* at the ready....
In the future, the Earth defence space station (called "Space Station Star Wars" in Space Transformers...*sigh*) monitors the passage of Halleys Comet as it passes near Earth.
Meanwhile, a mysterious assassin breaks into the home of "Ivy" (referred to simply as "Girl Genius" in Micro Commando, and said to be "the most talented girl in the world" in Space Transformers...what is never explained though in the horrid hack job redubs, is that "Ivy" has an amazingly developed sense of precognitism, meaning that she can sense telepathically if the Earth is in danger from attack..etc etc etc *face/palm*) and shoots her several times, but fails to kill her.
Meanwhile in space, the Earth defence command comes under attack by a gang of bad guys (I dunno, space pirates or something, its never really made clear..*face/palm*), who demand Earths immediate and unconditional surrender, taken totally by surprise, the Earth defence command gets its backside thrashed royally by the bad guys super robots (basically, Diaclone "Waruder" combiner robots).
Enter our hero, I forget his name (yes, it really doesnt matter one bit what he is called, this film is that shit) who is exceptionally concerned about Ivy's well being (he wants to fuck her) , however conventional medical help will do no good, as "Professor Ting" states, the bullets she was shot with were filled with some sort of bacteria which is now invading her body and heading towards her heart, and that giving her a massive dose of anti biotics to combat the infection at this stage would actually kill her instead. (What i really dont get about this plot development is, why bother with the bacteriological infection?, why not just use normal bullets, after all, the assassin did shoot her like five times, more than enough to kill the silly bint!... *face/palm*)
HOWEVER!, all hope is not lost, as Professer Ting has a new invention, a shrinking machine!!. He says the best way to fight the infection would be to miniaturise the "Diatron3" (Diaclones "Big Powered" toy) combat robot and sent it in to destroy the infection directly!!!1!!11!one!!!!...(so...definitely NOT a rip off of 1966s "Fantastic Voyage", starring Donald Pleasence and Raquel Welch then?...*face/palm*)
Yeah, so anyways, this plan goes to shit because the robot pilot of Diatron 3 is inept as fuck, so our hero volunteers to have himself shrunk down to micro size and go in for another go himself.
This is where the story gets proper fucked up, because inside Ivy's body, or at least how it is shown on screen, looks NOTHING like the internal organs of the human body.
As it turns out, the "bacteria" are nothing of the sort, and instead our hero finds himself confronted by an army consisting of the main bad guys sister, backed up, rather oddly by a load of their "not-waruder" robots, green skinned horned demons with spears and a guy who looks like a green skinned Mr. Spock.
Needless to say, hero guy manages to defeat the bad guys in Ivy's body using the Diatron 5 robot, before then re-enlarging himself and heading into space to blow up the main bad guys ship as they run away in terror (wow, what an asshole, nothing like shooting someone in the back eh?).
Seriously, this film is awful, in fact, it goes so beyond awful there quite simply arent enough words contained within the sum total of human language to adaquately describe just how fucking bad this film is, and thats saying something.
Firstly, the animation is just SHIT, with heavy reuses of animation its almost like they made about 15 minutes worth of footage and then just recycled it over and over to create the illusion they had made a full movie, hoping that folk wouldnt notice. Also, you get a hell of a lot of bizarre backdrops, for example Ivy seems to have some asteroid fields inside her, as well as cloudy blue skies... WTF?
Secondly, the story is ridiculous. the inside of Ivy's body contains stone castles, kingdoms and living people who live in a medieval type society. WTF?
, also, the numerous large explosions and battles that go off in her innards dont appear to affect her in the slightiest...double WTF??
Finally, Diatron 5s "hero theme"...it goes like this...
"Diaton 5....DIATRON 5!!....fighting for your life...Diatron 5...warrior of justice"...repeated over and over to the tune of some sort of early 80s attempt at synth pop, you know, the sort of attempt which consists of a teenager sitting in their bedroom attempting to play a cheap casio keyboard and thinking they are badass.
So, to sum up, Diatron 5, which incidentally I think sounds like the name of a product you would use to ease stomach related problems, is an absolute horror of an attempt to produce something resembling an anime film. If it were an animal, I would have shot it at birth, then cremated the body, then sealed the ashes in a lead box and tossed it into the deepest ocean trench I could find.
If you would like to torture yourself by watching this piece of shit...click HERE
During the late 70s and early 80s the South Korean animation industry regarded the Japanese animation industry with somewhat envious eyes. While the Japanese were pouring out success stories like the Gundam series, Mazinger-Z, Getta robo etc, the Koreans only managed to either do the animations for western cartoon companies, or create poor quality pseudo-anime features.
Diatron 5 is one of these attempts at doing an anime-esque film.
Released in South Korea in 1985, Diatron 5 made its way westward not once, but twice during the late 1980s, firstly under the name "Space Transformers" (a horribly dubbed version originating from Hong Kong which made an attempt to cash in on the craze for Transformer toys in the west) and then again in the same year under the more suitable and less suck ass name of "Micro commando Diatron 5" (another fairly badly dubbed US release, which has to be said is superior to "Space Transformers" simply by virtue of the fact that the animation doesnt look like it was taken from a copied VHS video tape)
Diatron 5 is the name of a "super robot", the character model of which is a direct rip off of the "Machine Buffalo" toy from Takaras "Diaclone" toy line, (which also gave use the ultra awesome "Transformers" toy line...yeah baby!) , in fact, all the mecha in this film are direct rip offs of Diaclone toys, which is something these Korean attempts at anime like to do, a lot.
The storyline is thus....*face/palms* at the ready....
In the future, the Earth defence space station (called "Space Station Star Wars" in Space Transformers...*sigh*) monitors the passage of Halleys Comet as it passes near Earth.
Meanwhile, a mysterious assassin breaks into the home of "Ivy" (referred to simply as "Girl Genius" in Micro Commando, and said to be "the most talented girl in the world" in Space Transformers...what is never explained though in the horrid hack job redubs, is that "Ivy" has an amazingly developed sense of precognitism, meaning that she can sense telepathically if the Earth is in danger from attack..etc etc etc *face/palm*) and shoots her several times, but fails to kill her.
Meanwhile in space, the Earth defence command comes under attack by a gang of bad guys (I dunno, space pirates or something, its never really made clear..*face/palm*), who demand Earths immediate and unconditional surrender, taken totally by surprise, the Earth defence command gets its backside thrashed royally by the bad guys super robots (basically, Diaclone "Waruder" combiner robots).
Enter our hero, I forget his name (yes, it really doesnt matter one bit what he is called, this film is that shit) who is exceptionally concerned about Ivy's well being (he wants to fuck her) , however conventional medical help will do no good, as "Professor Ting" states, the bullets she was shot with were filled with some sort of bacteria which is now invading her body and heading towards her heart, and that giving her a massive dose of anti biotics to combat the infection at this stage would actually kill her instead. (What i really dont get about this plot development is, why bother with the bacteriological infection?, why not just use normal bullets, after all, the assassin did shoot her like five times, more than enough to kill the silly bint!... *face/palm*)
HOWEVER!, all hope is not lost, as Professer Ting has a new invention, a shrinking machine!!. He says the best way to fight the infection would be to miniaturise the "Diatron3" (Diaclones "Big Powered" toy) combat robot and sent it in to destroy the infection directly!!!1!!11!one!!!!...(so...definitely NOT a rip off of 1966s "Fantastic Voyage", starring Donald Pleasence and Raquel Welch then?...*face/palm*)
Yeah, so anyways, this plan goes to shit because the robot pilot of Diatron 3 is inept as fuck, so our hero volunteers to have himself shrunk down to micro size and go in for another go himself.
This is where the story gets proper fucked up, because inside Ivy's body, or at least how it is shown on screen, looks NOTHING like the internal organs of the human body.
As it turns out, the "bacteria" are nothing of the sort, and instead our hero finds himself confronted by an army consisting of the main bad guys sister, backed up, rather oddly by a load of their "not-waruder" robots, green skinned horned demons with spears and a guy who looks like a green skinned Mr. Spock.
Needless to say, hero guy manages to defeat the bad guys in Ivy's body using the Diatron 5 robot, before then re-enlarging himself and heading into space to blow up the main bad guys ship as they run away in terror (wow, what an asshole, nothing like shooting someone in the back eh?).
Seriously, this film is awful, in fact, it goes so beyond awful there quite simply arent enough words contained within the sum total of human language to adaquately describe just how fucking bad this film is, and thats saying something.
Firstly, the animation is just SHIT, with heavy reuses of animation its almost like they made about 15 minutes worth of footage and then just recycled it over and over to create the illusion they had made a full movie, hoping that folk wouldnt notice. Also, you get a hell of a lot of bizarre backdrops, for example Ivy seems to have some asteroid fields inside her, as well as cloudy blue skies... WTF?
Secondly, the story is ridiculous. the inside of Ivy's body contains stone castles, kingdoms and living people who live in a medieval type society. WTF?
, also, the numerous large explosions and battles that go off in her innards dont appear to affect her in the slightiest...double WTF??
Finally, Diatron 5s "hero theme"...it goes like this...
"Diaton 5....DIATRON 5!!....fighting for your life...Diatron 5...warrior of justice"...repeated over and over to the tune of some sort of early 80s attempt at synth pop, you know, the sort of attempt which consists of a teenager sitting in their bedroom attempting to play a cheap casio keyboard and thinking they are badass.
So, to sum up, Diatron 5, which incidentally I think sounds like the name of a product you would use to ease stomach related problems, is an absolute horror of an attempt to produce something resembling an anime film. If it were an animal, I would have shot it at birth, then cremated the body, then sealed the ashes in a lead box and tossed it into the deepest ocean trench I could find.
If you would like to torture yourself by watching this piece of shit...click HERE
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